Saturday, December 31, 2005

John August

I saw John today, in Cherry Hill, NJ. He was buying the house I inspected. Never thought he'd relocate to NJ. Or Cherry Hill, NJ, for that matter.

Okay, you got me, it wasn't really John, but looked JUST LIKE HIM! I swear.

Anyway, I thought it was funny. It seems like there's dopplegangers of everyone out in the world (or separated-at-birth kind of people).

Weird, pretty pointless post, but I thought I'd share. Now I gotta get back to work on my script so I can sell something in '06 and not be a home inspector anymore.

2K6!

Happy New Year, everyone.

Glad I jumped on the bloggin' bandwagon and look forward to reading all your blogs/thoughts/etc into 2006 and beyond.

Now let's sell some scripts, dammit!

Thursday, December 29, 2005

New Script Opening Scene

Here's the opening of a new script I've started working on. It's called The Nine Lives Of Dalt Stickle. I'm gonna send out page 1 to that Page One contest, see what happens......


FADE IN:
EXT. SMALL TOWN STREET - DAY

DALT STICKLE, a boy around 6, walks down the street nursing a melting ice cream cone. He tries to lick it as it melts all over his hands.He steps off the curb to cross the street, his gaze never leaving the messy cone.A CAR HORN BLARES at him as a rusted-beast of a car barrels at him.

DALT’S DAD, mid 30s, blue-collar, grabs him and pulls him back onto the sidewalk as the car speeds by and zooms off.

DALT’S DAD
Holy-Jesus-loving-Christ! What ails you, Dalt? Huh? You trying to get yourself killed?
DALT
No, I was.....
DALT’S DAD
That car woulda dragged your skin-and-bones down the street, your face scraping against the god-damn road the whole way!
DALT
My face?
DALT’S DAD
Peel it clean off it would!
DALT
But Dad......!
DALT’S DAD
Don’t “But Dad” my ass. Staring at that mess of an ice cream cone like it was the holy-god-damn-grail.
DALT
But I like vanilla.
DALT’S DAD
Well, vanilla almost got you killed.

Dalt’s Dad walks off ahead of him. Dalt follows, tossing the cone away.

DALT (V.O.)
When you’re a kid you think you’re invincible. And then life takes a shit on you.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

My Muse-ic

Most of my story ideas/dialogue/scenes, etc come while I'm driving down the road, music blasting. Here's a list of music I had going most of the time over the last year that has helped inspire me in my screenplays throughout '05.......

Arcade Fire - Funeral (mind-blowingly awesome album, get it now)
Interpol - Antics (an '04 release but I just can't get enough of it)
Nada Surf - The Weight Is A Gift
Coldplay - X & Y (some great stuff on here, but not as good as A Rush Of Blood To The Head).
Doves - Some Cities
New Order & Depeche Mode - Old School bands that came out with surprisingly good, vital albums.
Moby - Always sounds good in the CD player.

I'l always have a warm place in my heart for U2, but I haven't even got their last album yet. Just haven't got around to it. Love them to death, and live there's nothing quite like them, but their last album or so has gotten pretty generic (although still 1,000,000,000 better than most crap on the radio). Still, love to hear another Joshua Tree form them.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Kong is my boo

King Kong..........Wow.

***Numerous spoilage throughout - Go see it, then come back.

Anyways, so yeah, I loved that damn sonofabitch. A perfect movie? No, I didn't say that but there's not many I'd say that about. Certainly up at the top of my list for 2005 (along with Jarhead).

I'll admit, when I heard it was 3 hrs, I was like, "oh, c'mon Petey Jackson. Is it really necessary?"

It did not feel like 3 hours. It simply didn't. Now, could he have trimmed some fat? Sure, but when you think back to some of the earlier scenes, a lot of it was character-building stuff instead of just pointless drivel.

One thing I liked was the relationship between the Shipmate and Billy Elliot. I didn't think it was pointless at all, plus it didn't take up much screen time. It added something to these characters (also some of the other ship crew that we got to know). At least they had some CHARACTER instead of just walking targets. I liked what they did with the Lead Actor guy (I forget his name, he was in a fun show called Early Edition a few years back).

Didn't mind Jack Black, I thought he was pretty good as the obsessive (and very desperate) director. Colin Hanks was decent as his assistant.

Loved Watts, and Brody was great, too. Having him, the writer, down in the cages as his "room" was a nice touch.

NYC wowed me, it was amazing. Peter really nailed it right from the start.

The Ship crashing scene was quite a ride. And those Natives were just plain freaky as shit. Nightmare material, all of them, and that main freak-of-a-woman who kept yelling "Konga!" was nasty. The spider/weta/crickets/roach fight was horrible - In an amazing way. Yuck, man, that was like every nightmare I could have had all rolled into one scene.

All the dino stuff ruled. One of the fav parts was the stampede, although I've heard a few bitch about it. Believable? Well, yeah, cause it's a friggin' fun adventure movie about a giant ape, so I can take a dino stampede. I mean, some of the crew got crushed, you want to kill the leads, too? C'mon, people. You're not going to a movie called King Kong to see how realistic it is. But I loved when Billy Elliot (Just remembered his name was Jimmy in the movie) was dashing along the disintergrating cliff.

Now, his character was built-up a lot, and he did disappear after the island. But really, what can you do with him? Have him in NYC? The kid wanted to be on that boat, and that's likely where he stayed, although it would have been nice to get him in there at some point. Maybe he did get off the boat as the Shipmate told him to do (his life wasn't on the boat, he told him). Maybe have him stuggling in NY, then runs out and gets involved in the Kong stuff. But at that point you're already 2+ hours in and it starts to drag the movie down. I bet Jackson had it in there at some point but it had to go due to the already-long running time.

The climax was astounding. Central Park was beautiful, Kong having fun on the ice was really sweet. Walking slowly down the NY street was a nice touch. But since I knew what was coming, it made the scenes all the more tragic. I was sad for him. Dammit, I know it's Andy Serkis with Peter Jackson pulling his CGI strings, but they made me love that damn thing!

Empire State was perfect. His last stand was a thing of beauty, and one of my favorite shots (which just goes to show how friggin good Peter Jackson is) one of my fav shots EVER was when he fell off the building, tumbling and twisting, and those bi-planes zoom past the bottom of the frame. God dammit, Peter. You are good. You are insanely good.

Did I cry? Well, no, but I could feel it coming. Last time I cried at a flick was Saving Private Ryan. And that was actual sobbing, man. But I say this because I cried when it was the '70s version (Up yours, man, I was like 8 at the time!!!!!!).

You see, Jackson made this movie because you can see that he loved it. LOVED it. Which is why George Lucas really pissed me off. You can read back to one of my 1st posts to get my Star Wars/Sith rant, but I'll sum it up here: Lucas wasted the prequels on bullshit. Did they have great MOMENTS? Sure. But overall they are mostly unwatchable to me. And I'm a massive Star Wars nut.

But the detail and love and heart that went into King Kong shows on every frame. Every damn frame. This movie deserves to be kicking ass, I wish it was kicking more ass at the box office (Narnia is beating it this weekend) but maybe it'll have "legs" and make enough for people to call it a hit. I wonder what Spielberg (who still makes rocking great movies, by the way, can't wait to see Munich) and Lucas thought when they saw it.

King Kong deserves to be seen. Even if you might not LOVE it, it's not something to "wait for the DVD for." It needs to be seen in a theater. It just simply needs to be seen.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Contest Notifcation - Expose It!

As I listed earlier, I sent The Scenic Route & The Rave At Danny Carter's House to the above-mentioned comedy competition. And they actually announced the finalists at the exact time they promised, which is nice.

So, The Scenic Route placed..........Nowhere. Dammit. however, Rave At Danny Carter's was.........an Honorable Mention.

Not a terrible outcome, it's better that nothing, but certainly producers and such aren't going to be knocking on my door because I was an honorable mention.

Last year I was a quarter-finalist for my script, Doing It Sideways, which is about a struggling actor who turns to porn to make ends meet, and becomes a huge sensation in the adult film world. there were no honorable mentions last year (I'm sure they got more entries this year).

I'll keep updating any notifications from these contests here. Not a homerun, or even a double for Rave so far. More like an infield hit. Or a sacrifice fly. Maybe a hit-by-a-pitch. I've got it out to several other places so we'll see if it gets any further.

Merry X-Mas.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Is It Safe?

Freakin' Olivier, man. Like I wasn't already petrified of dentists.

Anyway, I had some nasty writer's blockage for the last 2 weeks. I've worked on a shitload of scripts over the last year, and I think my mind just went blank.

It seems to be going away though, and I've gotten back to work! Funniest thing, I was watching an episode of Tom & Jerry with my son and a great idea for a new script popped in my head, I was flooded with the story, entire scenes, dialogue, etc. It continued the following day as I drove to work, writing down dialogue and scenes as I drove with my knee.

Scripts I've completed this year were The Rave At Danny Carter's House, The Scenic Route, Shuttlecock!, Headshot, and Tourniquet. Plus, I did some nice re-writes on some older stuff including The Money Shot, The Flight Of Barnaby, Jablasco, and Doing It Sideways - The Joshua T. Bolt Story.

So, what's next? Well, I've got some more re-writing to do. I took Scott the Reader up on his offer of script critiquing and he's given me some great insight into the scripts I sent him. As for originals, I'm already into Retail Messiahs and will dive into the Tom & Jerry inspired The Nine Lives Of Dalt Stickle soon.

Let me give a shout-out (Someone slap me for saying "shout-out") to FunJoel who taught me how to link within my post. also, I was gonna say something regarding Christmas but write it as XXX-Mas but that bastard Scriptweaver beat me to it. I'd be all mad if he didn't have that lovely Keira staring back at me on his latest post.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Link'd!

Okay, so I got the link ordeal figured out, thanks to those who walked me through it. Ok, carried me.

I'll update and add links as often as I can.

Got an e-mail from inktip.com saying that a company has looked at one of my synopsis' I have listed there. YEAH! They looked at a synopsis! Wahoo! Booya! I'm gonna quit my day job.

Now if only they'd ask for the damn script we'd be getting somewhere.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Link'd?

Hello my peeps. Just a note to let you know that I'd like to have a bunch of yous as links on my blog here, but I can't figure out how to do it.

FunJoel was kind enough to explain it. And I still don't have a clue. I just can't figure it, or else I'd have most of you on here as links. As you can realize, I'm not the most computer savvy dude.

Help.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Helluva a thing, killin' a man......

.......take away all he's got. All he's ever gonna have." Damn that's a good one.

Update for those (me) who care. Got some stuff out to some contests/competitions, and am eagerly awating my rejections. Oh, I'm joshing.

Actually, this year could be interesting. I feel very strongly for 2 scripts in particular that I've been sending out (Rave at Danny's....which I have posted 2 excerpts below) and another comedy called The Scenic Route. Here's what I'm waiting on.. I'll name the contest, then the scripts I entered.........

Zoetrope - Cricket Hill (Finalist top 3 at Austin in 2003) and The Flight Of Barnaby (notification in Feb 2006)
Nashville Screenplay Showdown - The Flight Of Barnaby
Fade In - Jablasco, The Money Shot, The Rave At Danny Carter's House (notification 1/31/06)
AAA Competition - Rave At Danny Carter‘s, The Scenic Route (notifcation 1/1/06 (Quarter-finalists))
Script/Benderspink - Rave at Danny's, The Scenic Route, The Money Shot
All Access - The Scenic Route (notification on 1/16/05)
Set In Philly - The Flight Of Barnaby
Expose It!-Comedy Screenplay Competition - The Scenic Route, Rave at Danny’s (I was a quarter-finalist here last year with a script called Doing It Sideways - The Joshua T. Bolt Story)
Screenplay Shootout - Rave at Danny’s (notifcation on 2/25/05)

Thinking about American Accolades, but I hate sending 2 copies, which is what they want. Like to send to Find the Funny.

Yeah, it's a lot of contests, a lot of friggin cashola out of my asshola, but I'm not gonna get anywhere just staring at 'em! the search for a better agent continues!

I'll certainly let y'all know as the results come in. January& February should be interesting! Peace, mofos!

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Rave At Danny, Part 2

The following "Rave" excerpt happens earlier in the script than the last post. Our guys (high school geeks/outcasts Danny, Lem, Walsh and Cisco) need fake IDs to check out a rave in the city and head to a seedy dude named French (think Tim Olyphant), a local hooligan.....

INT. FRENCH’S HOUSE/LIVING ROOM - DAY
Danny, Lem, Cisco and Walsh sit on a black, leather couch. The room is full of psychedelic decor. CLASSIC ROCK plays from a record, spinning on a record player.

LEM
Well, I’m ready.
DANNY
(over the music)
What?

LEM
I’m ready! I wanna--

French enters and knocks the needle off the record. The song ends in a SCRATCH.

LEM
--go home.

French points to the door.

FRENCH
There’s the door, dude.
CISCO
He’s fine, French.
FRENCH
Doubt it.

French drags a chair in front of them and sits on it.

FRENCH
Any of you ever been to a rave?
DANNY
No. But we have contacts who have.
FRENCH
You’ll get eaten alive.
CISCO
We can handle ourselves.
FRENCH
Any of you guys even drink?
DANNY
Of course.
LEM
Yeah, like fish.
FRENCH
Fish drink water. You drink beer?
LEM
I almost did once.
FRENCH
And what happened?
LEM
I puked.
FRENCH
So be it.
(to Danny)
You drink?
DANNY
Thought about it.
FRENCH
Did you puke when you thought about it?
DANNY
No, but I got buzzed.
French laughs and runs his hands through his hair.
FRENCH
Okay. How much you got?
LEM
Is this where we negotiate a price?
FRENCH
It’s where you tell me how much you got.
DANNY
Forty bucks.

French laughs.

FRENCH
For four IDs?
DANNY
It’s all we have.
FRENCH
None of you rich?
CISCO
My Dad just borrowed ten bucks from me for gas so he could go to work today.
FRENCH
So much for pride.
(looks at Walsh)
Who are you again?
WALSH
Walsh.
FRENCH
Tommy Walsh?
WALSH
Yeah.
FRENCH
Ain’t you got a sister?
WALSH
Liz.
FRENCH
Yeah, yeah. I know Liz. She’s a hottie.
WALSH
Not to me.
FRENCH
Well, of course not. This ain’t West Virginia.

French gives them a once over.

FRENCH
Okay, boys. You ready to rave?

Thursday, December 15, 2005

The Rave At Danny Carter's House

Okay, just so you all don't think I only write about missing cackers, the following is an excerpt from another script that I have recently sent out to some contests/competitions/festivals/likely-wastes-of-time.

It's called THE RAVE AT DANNY CARTER'S HOUSE. And it's pretty much about that, it builds up to the rave at Danny's. In the following scene, Danny and his friends (each a nerd/geek type) are discussing the quickly-approaching rave..........


INT. DANNY’S HOUSE/BASEMENT
Danny, Cisco, Walsh and Lem, are all pacing randomly.

CISCO
Party favors?
DANNY
Check.
LEM
Parental figures?
DANNY
Gone.
WALSH
Neon paraphernalia?
CISCO
We got bracelets, necklaces, belts, glow sticks. Plenty of neon.
LEM
What about booze? The kids love booze.
CISCO
It’s BYOB.
LEM
(tries to pronounce it)
Byob?
CISCO
Bring your own booze. Gets us out of buying it.
WALSH
Breakables?
DANNY
I put as much away as I could. According to most party movies, something will break, and break often.
LEM
What if beer is spilled?
DANNY
I put plastic down on the carpets and couches.
LEM
Disco balls?
DANNY
Obviously.
WALSH
Okay, guys, and the most important ingredient in our rave concoction?
CISCO
Girls?
WALSH
Girls.

They look to Danny, and stop pacing. Danny smiles.

DANNY
Oh yes, there will be girls.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Tourniquet Excerpt - Part II

Okay, here's the rest of the already posted scene. To read in order, start with my previous post.
Again, this is a dark comedy about a pretty wacked, quirky couple. The set-up: Ray meets Maggie (she's hot, young, jealous) and they fall in love. Ray's ex comes back to town, Ray has 2nd thoughts and after a tiff with Maggie, ends up with Paula. Maggie catches them, kicks Paula out, and pretends to forgive him and cuffs him to the bed for make-up sex. That's when she slices.
There are other sub-plots involving Ray's friends, but Ray and Maggie are the center of the story......
RAY
(whimpering)
Gotta stop....bleeding...Need to wrap it.
MAGGIE
With what?
RAY
Need....a....tourniquet.

He’s passing out. She slaps him.

MAGGIE
Wake up! I don’t know what that is!
RAY
(starts to come around)
To stop bleeding.
Maggie reaches under her skirt and yanks off her thong. She tries to wrap it around his bloody crotch.
MAGGIE
I can’t tie it!
RAY
Keep trying.
MAGGIE
I am! This is my favorite thong, you know! I hope you appreciate this!
RAY
I do.....

She grabs a phone and hits 9-1-1.

MAGGIE
(after a moment)
We’ve had an accident! My boyfriend is bleeding really bad!
(listens)
It’s his dick!

She drops the phone as another burst of blood shoots across the floor. A stream nails her in her face.

MAGGIE
Ah! Shit!
RAY
You......gotta....hold it.
(smiles weakly)
You’re my tourniquet.....

Monday, December 12, 2005

Script Excerpt - Tourniquet

The following is an excerpt from one of my scripts (it's a comedy). In this scene, Maggie has cut off her boyfriend's penis as he is handcuffed to their bed (okay, it's a dark comedy). This was done in an act of jealous rage. The rest of the script involves the search for the missing penis by the small town of Blatch. The script is called TOURNIQUET.
Maggie holds up his severed penis.

MAGGIE
What, you want this?

RAY
YES! YES! PUT IT BACK! PUT IT BACK!

MAGGIE
Flush it?

RAY
NO! NO! NO!

MAGGIE
Okay, if you say so, baby.

Maggie enters the bathroom. Ray can see her from the bed and continues to howl in ungodly pain. She stands above the toilet, holding the bloody member in her hand.

RAY
(whimpering)
Please. Put it back. I need it. Maggie...
She drops it in the toilet.

MAGGIE
Plop. Just like a dead goldfish, Ray.
She flushes, and walks away from the toilet, standing at the doorway to the bedroom. Ray lies helpless, blood staining the sheets around his crotch, eyes filled with tears.

RAY
Baby......Why.....?

Maggie is hit with empathy.
MAGGIE
Oh, baby. What’d I do?
Behind her the toilet starts overflowing. She turns to look.
MAGGIE
Oh, shit.
(to Ray)
It’s overflowing!
RAY
(weakly)
Good, good. Maybe it’s stuck! Go get it!
She runs to the toilet.

RAY
....Plunger.

She grabs a plunger and starts plunging. Pinkish water overflows all over the floor.

MAGGIE
This is gross!

She looks back into the other room.
RAY
Oh, my God it hurts.
MAGGIE
I’m trying, baby.
She turns back to the toilet and tosses the plunger aside.
RAY
I wish I was dead.
MAGGIE
I’ll jiggle the handle!
FLUSH. The water disappears down the drain.
MAGGIE
Oh.
She steps back from the toilet, then turns and steps into the bedroom. Ray looks at her with hope. She shakes her head.

MAGGIE
It’s gone, baby.
I'll post more tomorrow. Thoughts?

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Jablasco

Wrote a script called JABLASCO a few months back. Listed it on Inktip.com, and just this week had a request for it. Inktip is a cool place to list your scripts, as most of y'all know. I've had some success from the site. That's where the infamous "We-Love-Everything-About-Your-Script-But-Want-You-To-Change-Everything-We-Love-About-Your-Script" guys found me.

So anyhoo, we'll see if this new company wants to do something with it. I used to get excited over these requests, now I'm just like, Yeah, whatever, take it. Just a jaded New Jersian I guess.

Side Note - Congrats to Disney on Narnia. 65-70million according to boxofficeguru.com. Nice opening! That Disney company just might be going somewhere.

Now I'm off to re-write my screenplay about a guy that gets his wee-wee sliced off and flushed down a toilet. Think Disney would want that one?

Monday, December 05, 2005

HEADSHOT Wins!!!

Well, some minor good news. My screenplay, HEADSHOT, a horror comedy about a psychotic extra, was a winner in the Writer's Room Horror/Sci-Fi Screenplay competition......Oh, you've never heard of the Writer's Room.

Anyway, I won............a book! Going in I new the prizes were meager, but it's a semi-local contest so I sent in HEADSHOT. The book is A Prayer For the Dying by Stewart O'Nan (signed).

So I'm happyish about it. Certainly rather win Scriptapalooza or something, but it's a notch for the belt.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

LET THEM EAT STATIC

Well, I bombed out. Maybe not bombed. But I'm out of the 2 screenplay competitions I was waiting on. I made the quarter-finals of The Writer's Network Competition (Shuttlecock! & Brightsword) and the Semi-finals of The Screenplay Competition (The Money Shot) but no further in either.

Honestly I was surprised to get as far as I did with The Writer's Network, after I sent those scripts in I was kicking myself, I know I had better ones that I could have sent in.

I don't like to take the festival/contest route but if you've read my earlier posts regarding my "manager/agent" you see I have no choice. So I'll keep on sending stuff: I've got a newer, better arsenal of scripts than I've had in previous years. I've got 2 in particular, THE RAVE AT DANNY CARTER'S HOUSE and THE SCENIC ROUTE that I've already sent out to places like AAA Competition, the Script/Benderspink Open Door and Fade In. Now I just have to play the waiting game - none of these contests will have notifications under Jan/Feb.

So until then I'll keep on keeping on. Guess I can't quit the day job quite yet.

Dammit!

New Yawk

Damn that's a busy city. Lotta people up there, if you were wondering. Okay, sure, it's the Christmas season, in one of the world's largest cities, on a Saturday, so of course it was busy. No, no, it was mobbed.

We took a limo up from down here in NJ, my family, the in-laws (we totaled 13 in all, all in the limo). So we ate at that Mars 2112 joint which was ok, kinda neat; food was decent, the odd waiters were not.

Then we headed over to check out Rockerfeller Center & the big-ass tree, and it was pretty but with the other 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 people around and walking/shoving/trampling through us, it wasn't as fun as it could have been. The kids were cold & pissed. Can't blame them.

We stayed to see a light show at my sister-in-law's urging that ended up being some flashing snowflakes set to X-mas music, then we got trampled/shoved/kicked/pissed on, retreated back to the limo and got the hell back to NJ.

The idea of going up in a limo, having a dinner, seeing some X-Mas crap was cool in theory but the reality? Not so cool.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Wait'n

I hate waiting on these screenwriting festivals/competitions/rolls-of-the-dice for them to annouce their finalists. I've got 2 in particular that I'm waiting on, The Screenplay Festival and the Writer's Network. I hear there's a new one coming soon called "Even If You Win This Festival Nobody Will Buy Your Script Competition."

My script THE MONEY SHOT is currently a semi-finalist in the Screenplay Festival. Fingers crossed. But I've noticed a few scripts within my category that have been winning/placing high at other competitions, so if I can squeeze in there I'll be surprised. Ah, who knows.

Then there's The Writer's Network; they allowed us to send 2 scripts, which I did. I sent Shuttlecock! and Brightsword. Shuttlecock is a comedy about one man's redemption set against the backdrop of Championship Badminton. And then I've got Brightsword, which is like Lord Of the Rings but a comedy (and without any rings). Not sure how they grade these things, Screenplay Fest is supposed to announce this week I believe and Network on December 1st.

So until then I'll hold off on using the razor blades.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

The Friends Zone

No screenwriting updates tonight, just a movie review. No, no, I didn't go see In The Mix. I still got Usher's back though.

Funny freakin movie, JUST FRIENDS. A good example of comedy done well, if you ask me. Everyone in it is stellar. Ryan Reynolds stands out, he's just perfect. I like him as much as Vince Vaughn really, they've both got that sorta improv-off-the-cuff delivery going. I hear it may do about 12-15 mil which ain't bad, it couldn't have cost much to make. Great job, Ryan. Let me get a few scripts out to you.......

Anna Farris is perfect as the singer, and you'd be smart to stick around for her song at the end of the credits. Good stuff. Amy Smart adds some nice touches to what could have been a typical love interest role. And I like that Chris Klein, he's great against-type in this - A Jersey Playa. And whoever that kid is who plays the brother (he was in Girl's Next Door, the wannabe director) just rocks. A+.

Saw a preview for The Ringer. Looks funny, but probably needs to be Rated R to be FUNNY.

Friday, November 25, 2005

MOFO

Okay, I've got an update on the Canadian production company that loved my script but wanted me to completely change EVERYTHING in it but
keep everything they loved about it.........HUH?! Dude makey no sensey.

A quick synopsis of the script. It's called The Money Shot and is about a College Film Student who reluctantly makes a porn to sell for a quick buck when there's a screw-up with his financial aid. that's it in a nutshell, anyway. so the Candians loved the script, well at least my contact did, but now wanted me to change the concept. Here's an e-mail I just received:

""Sorry I've been crazy busy with work and family stuff. But fear not I have not forgotten about you. I think maybe you should consider elderly men doing the porn? what do you think? really try to detach yourself from the story and go back to what's really good about this film. I think its your characters and the fact that they are making porn. maybe all of theses guy are like film buffs, or older film makers that got sick of making features. not sure but try to run with the old man thing I think if you combined "Grumby Old Men" with the "Girl next Door" you might have something. Let me know what you think again its just and idea.""

Jesus Christ, man. Old Men. Making Porn??? Isn't that creepy? Who do they cast? Their daughters or grandkids? And I can smell the Viagra jokes 7 miles away. Or have old people as the porno actors, maybe they'd cast an aging porn star, some hot cripple in her 70s, yeah, that'll sell. Yuck. Christ, man.

The beauty of my original concept (and again, I'm not against tweaking, polishing, re-writing to improve what's there, etc, I'm not saying it's perfect) but it's fun when it's college kids. And with the with all the financial aid crap that we sometimes deal with, the audience can RELATE. Who the hell would see old people doing it? And why? Did their pensions run out?

Holy cow.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Beeyotch!

Yeah, it's Thanksgiving. This year we ordered from our friendly neighborhood Genuardi's (a popular if strike-prone NJ supermarket). Anyhoo, we ordered everything from them instead of making it ourselves. The wife and I assumed they'd have it all pre-cooked so we could just heat the shit up and voila! Dinner! Not so, everything's gotta be cooked anyway, and now I'm as annoyed as Georgie Bush looking for a way out of an awkward news conference.

I guess we could have worse problems.

Nothing new on the screenplay front this week. Waiting to hear from a couple contests I've entered, and have jumped into a cool, fun new script I started writing last week and already hit into page 40+. Damn I love that.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Fudge

Okay, so this company in Canada asked for one of my scripts. I sent it, and they guy flipped. Loved it, said he's make it right now. AWESOME! I thought. Now, I've been down this road before, so I usually don't get my hopes up these days, but he was amped.

All he had to do was present it to his partners. Great! Look forward to their thoughts!

Couple days pass and I get the call: They like it, but they're on the fence. Damn that fence. So, I say, I understand that, I'm not against re-tooling or doing a re-write, whatever, you know? He tells me to send another script I wrote which has similiar themes as the one he likes, I think this is a good idea since it sounds like EXACTLY what they're looking for.

It wasn't. My guy says he liked the first script better, however, he wanted me to change the ENTIRE plot/concept/story, which completely kills the story and the whole point of it all. I mean, I'd be starting from scratch. And even then Iw as like, okay, I'm not against changing things or working with these guys, you? They've showed and interest, which is more than my fucking manager has shown. But I wrote to him and told him basically that I wouldn't want to work on something in the HOPES that they'd like or enough to buy or option it.

His reply:
"As far as your script goes, I really can't commit to saying i can give you my 100% attention. I really like the idea and I think, if you are up for it, we can work on it together and but i can't say that at the in one month we will buy it and make it. I think we should keep the concept and re-build the story from the ground up & keep the idea but lets play with who they are and why they do what they do. I'm not sure it you like that but I will work on it with you but more on my own time. I really think you have something special and I want to mold it to it can be that golden script that everyone wants. Then we can pass it along to my partners and see if its something we all want. (obviously i will want, it more them.) So what i suggest for right now is that you go back and try to forget the story and keep the concept and go from there. Feel free to email me with your ideas and I will do the same. what do you think? Hope to hear from you soon."

Sure, dude.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

What A Prick

Okay, so I'm looking for a new manager. The one I have just isn't cuting it. He's not cutting anything. He'll send out a synopsis or logline, via fax, every month or so and see if anyone bites. No one usually does because what production company is waiting by the fax to get a list of loglines? Also, my guy, bless his weird heart, also answers his own phone. Not a big deal, but he'll answer is using a soft voice, then put me on hold, and pick up with his "real" voice. that just ain't right.

So I've been on a search for a new manager/agent. By the way, my guy says he's both. Is that possible? So I write to one in particular (I actually e-mailed a "creative assistant" at the management compay), explain my plight, and he says to send my best sample. Yes!! So I do, and he writes back (rather quickly) that it didn't "do anything" for him story-wise. So I send him another, something a bit more edgy, by the prickish way he writes I'm thinking he wants edgy. His reply is "Read the 1st 30 pages, it didn't rock my world. Good luck."

Hey asshole, didn't rock your world? Who talks like that? And then to add further salt to the wound, to say "good luck" as if, well. you're done. 'Night. I mean, look, I understand how things work in ol' Hollywood. It just pisses me off to no end that I got cock-blocked by some assistant, and the way he talked (okay, wrote) down to me like I was bottom-feeding garbage completely pissed me off. I mean, yo dude, you can be a little nicer, say something like "it was funny but not really my style....Not bad but not really what we're looking for."

Didn't rock your world. "CREATIVE Assistant." That's a good one.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Bloggin'

Man, what a weird thing. I did a sort-of scan of other blogging sites, and wow. Interested bunch of wack-jobs we are on this here planet. But that's a good thing. There were sites about being in France, walking around Cambodia, romance stories, something about alligators (not on a helicopter, real alligators - I think they were running the blog, I didn't stick around to ask questions).

And I had my first comment left for me! It was awesome. and then I looked at the comment. Spam! Rock on!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Star Wars, Yo

Why the hell didn't Tarkin (and the Death Star) just blast through the planet with their LASER DEATH RAY which would have revealed the moon that the rebel base was on, and then blast the shit out of that, too? They took out Alderaan earlier on, so the size shouldn't have been a problem. I'm probably late to hop onto this question, I'm sure it's been brought up before, and maybe someone even asked George Lucas about it.....and then he led them behind Skywalker Ranch and Godfathered them to death.

Sith is out, as we know. And I usually scoop up Star Wars stuff as soon as it hits the shelves, but not this time. I'll get it soon, just to complete my collection, but I'm just soured on Star Wars. Don't get me wrong, they're still better than half the stuff out there, and better than 99% of sci-fi movies that are released, but the stench of the first 2 prequels made the 3rd one just a good movie instead of an amazing end to what should have been a fantasic story (the prequels). Georgie got stuck in a bland love story, and Menace was a complete waste. In my book, if I had written the damn things, the story would begin with Attack of the Clones, maybe have some of the important plot points touched on at the beginning, have the Clone Wars set up for my version of the 2nd (and I mean actually show the damn Wars, not the tail end of them, or wait for some arty cartoon to show them (ok, it's a cool cartoon, but still). They're so referenced and discussed in the original trilogy, that I think they should have been shown to us further. We love them battles, man!

Then having robots and clones battle each other, I mean, who cares? It's like a bunch of rocks fighting each other, we don't know them, and don't give a rat's. Anakin's gotta turn sooner, or start to, and have more time with Obi-Wan (they need to be closer as friends or at least apprentice/mentors) so their battle at the end MEANS something emotionally.

Lucas didn't have it all wrong, I mean, he's got the visuals down, and all the Palpatine stuff is spot on. I can still watch the original trilogy with wonder and awe, it's just a shame that I watch the new trilogy and go Hmm, okay then. And it's also a shame that George apparently doesn't give a poop.

But who am I , just some home inspector in NJ trying to sell a flippin screenplay, so maybe George is right.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Jarhead - Yowza!!

Well, that's just about as perfect as a movie can be. A++ all around, the cast, the direction (Mendes is 3 for 3), solid script, nice score,a nd visually stunning. Sarsgaard better at least get nominated, loved the Foxx, and Jake was stunning. So far, it's my fav of the year, I'd also include Crash on a top 10 list. We'll see what else gets on there. Munich looks soul-crushingly good and Kong will be a nice ride. Yours Mine & Ours will likely beat Jarhead though.....oh, c'mon, I kid. I do like the Dennis Quaid though, he'll recover. The man's gotta eat, you know?

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Kingdom of Boredom

Dammit. I wanted to like it. I like the Orlando Bloom. Ridley Scott usually rocks. Neeson, Thewlis, Irons. How can you go wrong with all those ingredients? Well, the script. Damn, shame, the movie LOOKED great. nice enough (if nothing new) score. Bloom plays sad well, but his character was lifeless and dragged the movie down. Don't think it was his fault, again, I'd fault the screenplay. Didn't go much of anywhere until the end when it did get exciting (the siege). Good stuff there, it's a shame it came after 90 minutes of people riding horses.

My First 1

I'm new to this, so this is just a test run. I like the blog idea, think it's a pretty cool thing to get your thoughts out "there." I liked the other writing blogs that I've been seeing so I'm not breaking any sort of new ground here but thought I'd jump on the bandwagon (or at least grab the bumper of it). Will anyone care? Nah. Will anyone read my posts? Not sure. The main things I'll write about will be writing & filmmaking, as I try to get my screenplays out in the world or try to make one into a movie. So let's see how it goes..........