Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Sunday, October 19, 2008

All Over The Place

Usually, I've got a few scripts open and sorta pop back and forth between them, depending on my mood that day.

Now I'm a mess.

I've narrowed my screenplays down to 2 (that I want to work on). No, wait. 3. Krikey.

One is Bloom (tentative title, we discussed this a few posts ago, and thanks for the input). The other is Temp'd, which is my little crime comedy of sorts. The other is Westville, about love, friendship and odometers.

And now, my books.

Yeah, books.

One is a memoir. Yeah, everybody's got one. Well, so do I, dammit. The other 2 are adaptations of screenplays. Cricket Hill (2nd place comedy at Austin in 2003 - For those of you down there this year, good luck and have fun). The other is Brightsword, which is a fantasy comedy.

I decided to work backwards on these (as opposed to adapting a novel) because:

A. I had bad writer's blockage.
B. Cricket Hill is a hard sell as a feature-script, and is better suited as a TV series (tried that 3 years ago until the company that optioned it went belly-up), or a novel.

But its too much to work on all at once, too much to think about. I know I have to focus on one (ok, maybe 2) so I can stop fartin' 'round and get at least one of these completed soon.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

More Union Feedback - Writers On The Storm

I entered my script, Union, into Writers On The Storm and didn't get far. Ok, I got nowhere. They did provide feedback. Here it goes..........

Recommendation: Pass


There are a lot of fun moments in this script, and a great family dynamic, but the story doesn't quite come together as it should. Characters are so quirky that they have a tendency to feel like caricatures instead of fleshed out people. The pacing of the story drags as a result of the flashbacks and changes in perspective. A good start, but a ways to go.

Reader suggestions:

One of the major concerns of the script is that we're never quite sure who the protagonist is, Hoyt or Barnaby. Barnaby's narrator status makes us lean toward him - the audience is seeing the story from his perspective.

However, the majority of the story centers on Hoyt. This slows the story down. Strengthen pacing by giving the script a stronger conflict, and making sure it sticks to a classic three-act structure, which works well with comedies. Consider eliminating some or all of the flashbacks - we don't need them to understand the family, and they interrupt the narrative.

Work on fleshing out the whole family - give them more flaws, more motivated personality, and more active goals throughout the script.

***At the end of the notes they gave it some scores, it boiled down to Structure, Major & Minor Characters, Title, Premise & Execution being labeled as SO-SO and Dialogue, Style/Voice, Originality, and Commerciality labeled as GOOD.

"So-So." That's a funny critique. They should have a "Neat" or "It was aiight" or "Kinda sucked."

Oh well, onto the next contest/script/query/who knows.