Saturday, December 31, 2005

John August

I saw John today, in Cherry Hill, NJ. He was buying the house I inspected. Never thought he'd relocate to NJ. Or Cherry Hill, NJ, for that matter.

Okay, you got me, it wasn't really John, but looked JUST LIKE HIM! I swear.

Anyway, I thought it was funny. It seems like there's dopplegangers of everyone out in the world (or separated-at-birth kind of people).

Weird, pretty pointless post, but I thought I'd share. Now I gotta get back to work on my script so I can sell something in '06 and not be a home inspector anymore.


Happy New Year, everyone.

Glad I jumped on the bloggin' bandwagon and look forward to reading all your blogs/thoughts/etc into 2006 and beyond.

Now let's sell some scripts, dammit!

Thursday, December 29, 2005

New Script Opening Scene

Here's the opening of a new script I've started working on. It's called The Nine Lives Of Dalt Stickle. I'm gonna send out page 1 to that Page One contest, see what happens......


DALT STICKLE, a boy around 6, walks down the street nursing a melting ice cream cone. He tries to lick it as it melts all over his hands.He steps off the curb to cross the street, his gaze never leaving the messy cone.A CAR HORN BLARES at him as a rusted-beast of a car barrels at him.

DALT’S DAD, mid 30s, blue-collar, grabs him and pulls him back onto the sidewalk as the car speeds by and zooms off.

Holy-Jesus-loving-Christ! What ails you, Dalt? Huh? You trying to get yourself killed?
No, I was.....
That car woulda dragged your skin-and-bones down the street, your face scraping against the god-damn road the whole way!
My face?
Peel it clean off it would!
But Dad......!
Don’t “But Dad” my ass. Staring at that mess of an ice cream cone like it was the holy-god-damn-grail.
But I like vanilla.
Well, vanilla almost got you killed.

Dalt’s Dad walks off ahead of him. Dalt follows, tossing the cone away.

When you’re a kid you think you’re invincible. And then life takes a shit on you.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

My Muse-ic

Most of my story ideas/dialogue/scenes, etc come while I'm driving down the road, music blasting. Here's a list of music I had going most of the time over the last year that has helped inspire me in my screenplays throughout '05.......

Arcade Fire - Funeral (mind-blowingly awesome album, get it now)
Interpol - Antics (an '04 release but I just can't get enough of it)
Nada Surf - The Weight Is A Gift
Coldplay - X & Y (some great stuff on here, but not as good as A Rush Of Blood To The Head).
Doves - Some Cities
New Order & Depeche Mode - Old School bands that came out with surprisingly good, vital albums.
Moby - Always sounds good in the CD player.

I'l always have a warm place in my heart for U2, but I haven't even got their last album yet. Just haven't got around to it. Love them to death, and live there's nothing quite like them, but their last album or so has gotten pretty generic (although still 1,000,000,000 better than most crap on the radio). Still, love to hear another Joshua Tree form them.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Kong is my boo

King Kong..........Wow.

***Numerous spoilage throughout - Go see it, then come back.

Anyways, so yeah, I loved that damn sonofabitch. A perfect movie? No, I didn't say that but there's not many I'd say that about. Certainly up at the top of my list for 2005 (along with Jarhead).

I'll admit, when I heard it was 3 hrs, I was like, "oh, c'mon Petey Jackson. Is it really necessary?"

It did not feel like 3 hours. It simply didn't. Now, could he have trimmed some fat? Sure, but when you think back to some of the earlier scenes, a lot of it was character-building stuff instead of just pointless drivel.

One thing I liked was the relationship between the Shipmate and Billy Elliot. I didn't think it was pointless at all, plus it didn't take up much screen time. It added something to these characters (also some of the other ship crew that we got to know). At least they had some CHARACTER instead of just walking targets. I liked what they did with the Lead Actor guy (I forget his name, he was in a fun show called Early Edition a few years back).

Didn't mind Jack Black, I thought he was pretty good as the obsessive (and very desperate) director. Colin Hanks was decent as his assistant.

Loved Watts, and Brody was great, too. Having him, the writer, down in the cages as his "room" was a nice touch.

NYC wowed me, it was amazing. Peter really nailed it right from the start.

The Ship crashing scene was quite a ride. And those Natives were just plain freaky as shit. Nightmare material, all of them, and that main freak-of-a-woman who kept yelling "Konga!" was nasty. The spider/weta/crickets/roach fight was horrible - In an amazing way. Yuck, man, that was like every nightmare I could have had all rolled into one scene.

All the dino stuff ruled. One of the fav parts was the stampede, although I've heard a few bitch about it. Believable? Well, yeah, cause it's a friggin' fun adventure movie about a giant ape, so I can take a dino stampede. I mean, some of the crew got crushed, you want to kill the leads, too? C'mon, people. You're not going to a movie called King Kong to see how realistic it is. But I loved when Billy Elliot (Just remembered his name was Jimmy in the movie) was dashing along the disintergrating cliff.

Now, his character was built-up a lot, and he did disappear after the island. But really, what can you do with him? Have him in NYC? The kid wanted to be on that boat, and that's likely where he stayed, although it would have been nice to get him in there at some point. Maybe he did get off the boat as the Shipmate told him to do (his life wasn't on the boat, he told him). Maybe have him stuggling in NY, then runs out and gets involved in the Kong stuff. But at that point you're already 2+ hours in and it starts to drag the movie down. I bet Jackson had it in there at some point but it had to go due to the already-long running time.

The climax was astounding. Central Park was beautiful, Kong having fun on the ice was really sweet. Walking slowly down the NY street was a nice touch. But since I knew what was coming, it made the scenes all the more tragic. I was sad for him. Dammit, I know it's Andy Serkis with Peter Jackson pulling his CGI strings, but they made me love that damn thing!

Empire State was perfect. His last stand was a thing of beauty, and one of my favorite shots (which just goes to show how friggin good Peter Jackson is) one of my fav shots EVER was when he fell off the building, tumbling and twisting, and those bi-planes zoom past the bottom of the frame. God dammit, Peter. You are good. You are insanely good.

Did I cry? Well, no, but I could feel it coming. Last time I cried at a flick was Saving Private Ryan. And that was actual sobbing, man. But I say this because I cried when it was the '70s version (Up yours, man, I was like 8 at the time!!!!!!).

You see, Jackson made this movie because you can see that he loved it. LOVED it. Which is why George Lucas really pissed me off. You can read back to one of my 1st posts to get my Star Wars/Sith rant, but I'll sum it up here: Lucas wasted the prequels on bullshit. Did they have great MOMENTS? Sure. But overall they are mostly unwatchable to me. And I'm a massive Star Wars nut.

But the detail and love and heart that went into King Kong shows on every frame. Every damn frame. This movie deserves to be kicking ass, I wish it was kicking more ass at the box office (Narnia is beating it this weekend) but maybe it'll have "legs" and make enough for people to call it a hit. I wonder what Spielberg (who still makes rocking great movies, by the way, can't wait to see Munich) and Lucas thought when they saw it.

King Kong deserves to be seen. Even if you might not LOVE it, it's not something to "wait for the DVD for." It needs to be seen in a theater. It just simply needs to be seen.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Contest Notifcation - Expose It!

As I listed earlier, I sent The Scenic Route & The Rave At Danny Carter's House to the above-mentioned comedy competition. And they actually announced the finalists at the exact time they promised, which is nice.

So, The Scenic Route placed..........Nowhere. Dammit. however, Rave At Danny Carter's Honorable Mention.

Not a terrible outcome, it's better that nothing, but certainly producers and such aren't going to be knocking on my door because I was an honorable mention.

Last year I was a quarter-finalist for my script, Doing It Sideways, which is about a struggling actor who turns to porn to make ends meet, and becomes a huge sensation in the adult film world. there were no honorable mentions last year (I'm sure they got more entries this year).

I'll keep updating any notifications from these contests here. Not a homerun, or even a double for Rave so far. More like an infield hit. Or a sacrifice fly. Maybe a hit-by-a-pitch. I've got it out to several other places so we'll see if it gets any further.

Merry X-Mas.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Is It Safe?

Freakin' Olivier, man. Like I wasn't already petrified of dentists.

Anyway, I had some nasty writer's blockage for the last 2 weeks. I've worked on a shitload of scripts over the last year, and I think my mind just went blank.

It seems to be going away though, and I've gotten back to work! Funniest thing, I was watching an episode of Tom & Jerry with my son and a great idea for a new script popped in my head, I was flooded with the story, entire scenes, dialogue, etc. It continued the following day as I drove to work, writing down dialogue and scenes as I drove with my knee.

Scripts I've completed this year were The Rave At Danny Carter's House, The Scenic Route, Shuttlecock!, Headshot, and Tourniquet. Plus, I did some nice re-writes on some older stuff including The Money Shot, The Flight Of Barnaby, Jablasco, and Doing It Sideways - The Joshua T. Bolt Story.

So, what's next? Well, I've got some more re-writing to do. I took Scott the Reader up on his offer of script critiquing and he's given me some great insight into the scripts I sent him. As for originals, I'm already into Retail Messiahs and will dive into the Tom & Jerry inspired The Nine Lives Of Dalt Stickle soon.

Let me give a shout-out (Someone slap me for saying "shout-out") to FunJoel who taught me how to link within my post. also, I was gonna say something regarding Christmas but write it as XXX-Mas but that bastard Scriptweaver beat me to it. I'd be all mad if he didn't have that lovely Keira staring back at me on his latest post.

Thursday, December 22, 2005


Okay, so I got the link ordeal figured out, thanks to those who walked me through it. Ok, carried me.

I'll update and add links as often as I can.

Got an e-mail from saying that a company has looked at one of my synopsis' I have listed there. YEAH! They looked at a synopsis! Wahoo! Booya! I'm gonna quit my day job.

Now if only they'd ask for the damn script we'd be getting somewhere.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005


Hello my peeps. Just a note to let you know that I'd like to have a bunch of yous as links on my blog here, but I can't figure out how to do it.

FunJoel was kind enough to explain it. And I still don't have a clue. I just can't figure it, or else I'd have most of you on here as links. As you can realize, I'm not the most computer savvy dude.


Monday, December 19, 2005

Helluva a thing, killin' a man......

.......take away all he's got. All he's ever gonna have." Damn that's a good one.

Update for those (me) who care. Got some stuff out to some contests/competitions, and am eagerly awating my rejections. Oh, I'm joshing.

Actually, this year could be interesting. I feel very strongly for 2 scripts in particular that I've been sending out (Rave at Danny's....which I have posted 2 excerpts below) and another comedy called The Scenic Route. Here's what I'm waiting on.. I'll name the contest, then the scripts I entered.........

Zoetrope - Cricket Hill (Finalist top 3 at Austin in 2003) and The Flight Of Barnaby (notification in Feb 2006)
Nashville Screenplay Showdown - The Flight Of Barnaby
Fade In - Jablasco, The Money Shot, The Rave At Danny Carter's House (notification 1/31/06)
AAA Competition - Rave At Danny Carter‘s, The Scenic Route (notifcation 1/1/06 (Quarter-finalists))
Script/Benderspink - Rave at Danny's, The Scenic Route, The Money Shot
All Access - The Scenic Route (notification on 1/16/05)
Set In Philly - The Flight Of Barnaby
Expose It!-Comedy Screenplay Competition - The Scenic Route, Rave at Danny’s (I was a quarter-finalist here last year with a script called Doing It Sideways - The Joshua T. Bolt Story)
Screenplay Shootout - Rave at Danny’s (notifcation on 2/25/05)

Thinking about American Accolades, but I hate sending 2 copies, which is what they want. Like to send to Find the Funny.

Yeah, it's a lot of contests, a lot of friggin cashola out of my asshola, but I'm not gonna get anywhere just staring at 'em! the search for a better agent continues!

I'll certainly let y'all know as the results come in. January& February should be interesting! Peace, mofos!

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Rave At Danny, Part 2

The following "Rave" excerpt happens earlier in the script than the last post. Our guys (high school geeks/outcasts Danny, Lem, Walsh and Cisco) need fake IDs to check out a rave in the city and head to a seedy dude named French (think Tim Olyphant), a local hooligan.....

Danny, Lem, Cisco and Walsh sit on a black, leather couch. The room is full of psychedelic decor. CLASSIC ROCK plays from a record, spinning on a record player.

Well, I’m ready.
(over the music)

I’m ready! I wanna--

French enters and knocks the needle off the record. The song ends in a SCRATCH.

--go home.

French points to the door.

There’s the door, dude.
He’s fine, French.
Doubt it.

French drags a chair in front of them and sits on it.

Any of you ever been to a rave?
No. But we have contacts who have.
You’ll get eaten alive.
We can handle ourselves.
Any of you guys even drink?
Of course.
Yeah, like fish.
Fish drink water. You drink beer?
I almost did once.
And what happened?
I puked.
So be it.
(to Danny)
You drink?
Thought about it.
Did you puke when you thought about it?
No, but I got buzzed.
French laughs and runs his hands through his hair.
Okay. How much you got?
Is this where we negotiate a price?
It’s where you tell me how much you got.
Forty bucks.

French laughs.

For four IDs?
It’s all we have.
None of you rich?
My Dad just borrowed ten bucks from me for gas so he could go to work today.
So much for pride.
(looks at Walsh)
Who are you again?
Tommy Walsh?
Ain’t you got a sister?
Yeah, yeah. I know Liz. She’s a hottie.
Not to me.
Well, of course not. This ain’t West Virginia.

French gives them a once over.

Okay, boys. You ready to rave?

Thursday, December 15, 2005

The Rave At Danny Carter's House

Okay, just so you all don't think I only write about missing cackers, the following is an excerpt from another script that I have recently sent out to some contests/competitions/festivals/likely-wastes-of-time.

It's called THE RAVE AT DANNY CARTER'S HOUSE. And it's pretty much about that, it builds up to the rave at Danny's. In the following scene, Danny and his friends (each a nerd/geek type) are discussing the quickly-approaching rave..........

Danny, Cisco, Walsh and Lem, are all pacing randomly.

Party favors?
Parental figures?
Neon paraphernalia?
We got bracelets, necklaces, belts, glow sticks. Plenty of neon.
What about booze? The kids love booze.
It’s BYOB.
(tries to pronounce it)
Bring your own booze. Gets us out of buying it.
I put as much away as I could. According to most party movies, something will break, and break often.
What if beer is spilled?
I put plastic down on the carpets and couches.
Disco balls?
Okay, guys, and the most important ingredient in our rave concoction?

They look to Danny, and stop pacing. Danny smiles.

Oh yes, there will be girls.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Tourniquet Excerpt - Part II

Okay, here's the rest of the already posted scene. To read in order, start with my previous post.
Again, this is a dark comedy about a pretty wacked, quirky couple. The set-up: Ray meets Maggie (she's hot, young, jealous) and they fall in love. Ray's ex comes back to town, Ray has 2nd thoughts and after a tiff with Maggie, ends up with Paula. Maggie catches them, kicks Paula out, and pretends to forgive him and cuffs him to the bed for make-up sex. That's when she slices.
There are other sub-plots involving Ray's friends, but Ray and Maggie are the center of the story......
Gotta stop....bleeding...Need to wrap it.
With what?

He’s passing out. She slaps him.

Wake up! I don’t know what that is!
(starts to come around)
To stop bleeding.
Maggie reaches under her skirt and yanks off her thong. She tries to wrap it around his bloody crotch.
I can’t tie it!
Keep trying.
I am! This is my favorite thong, you know! I hope you appreciate this!
I do.....

She grabs a phone and hits 9-1-1.

(after a moment)
We’ve had an accident! My boyfriend is bleeding really bad!
It’s his dick!

She drops the phone as another burst of blood shoots across the floor. A stream nails her in her face.

Ah! Shit!
You......gotta....hold it.
(smiles weakly)
You’re my tourniquet.....

Monday, December 12, 2005

Script Excerpt - Tourniquet

The following is an excerpt from one of my scripts (it's a comedy). In this scene, Maggie has cut off her boyfriend's penis as he is handcuffed to their bed (okay, it's a dark comedy). This was done in an act of jealous rage. The rest of the script involves the search for the missing penis by the small town of Blatch. The script is called TOURNIQUET.
Maggie holds up his severed penis.

What, you want this?


Flush it?


Okay, if you say so, baby.

Maggie enters the bathroom. Ray can see her from the bed and continues to howl in ungodly pain. She stands above the toilet, holding the bloody member in her hand.

Please. Put it back. I need it. Maggie...
She drops it in the toilet.

Plop. Just like a dead goldfish, Ray.
She flushes, and walks away from the toilet, standing at the doorway to the bedroom. Ray lies helpless, blood staining the sheets around his crotch, eyes filled with tears.


Maggie is hit with empathy.
Oh, baby. What’d I do?
Behind her the toilet starts overflowing. She turns to look.
Oh, shit.
(to Ray)
It’s overflowing!
Good, good. Maybe it’s stuck! Go get it!
She runs to the toilet.


She grabs a plunger and starts plunging. Pinkish water overflows all over the floor.

This is gross!

She looks back into the other room.
Oh, my God it hurts.
I’m trying, baby.
She turns back to the toilet and tosses the plunger aside.
I wish I was dead.
I’ll jiggle the handle!
FLUSH. The water disappears down the drain.
She steps back from the toilet, then turns and steps into the bedroom. Ray looks at her with hope. She shakes her head.

It’s gone, baby.
I'll post more tomorrow. Thoughts?

Saturday, December 10, 2005


Wrote a script called JABLASCO a few months back. Listed it on, and just this week had a request for it. Inktip is a cool place to list your scripts, as most of y'all know. I've had some success from the site. That's where the infamous "We-Love-Everything-About-Your-Script-But-Want-You-To-Change-Everything-We-Love-About-Your-Script" guys found me.

So anyhoo, we'll see if this new company wants to do something with it. I used to get excited over these requests, now I'm just like, Yeah, whatever, take it. Just a jaded New Jersian I guess.

Side Note - Congrats to Disney on Narnia. 65-70million according to Nice opening! That Disney company just might be going somewhere.

Now I'm off to re-write my screenplay about a guy that gets his wee-wee sliced off and flushed down a toilet. Think Disney would want that one?

Monday, December 05, 2005


Well, some minor good news. My screenplay, HEADSHOT, a horror comedy about a psychotic extra, was a winner in the Writer's Room Horror/Sci-Fi Screenplay competition......Oh, you've never heard of the Writer's Room.

Anyway, I won............a book! Going in I new the prizes were meager, but it's a semi-local contest so I sent in HEADSHOT. The book is A Prayer For the Dying by Stewart O'Nan (signed).

So I'm happyish about it. Certainly rather win Scriptapalooza or something, but it's a notch for the belt.

Saturday, December 03, 2005


Well, I bombed out. Maybe not bombed. But I'm out of the 2 screenplay competitions I was waiting on. I made the quarter-finals of The Writer's Network Competition (Shuttlecock! & Brightsword) and the Semi-finals of The Screenplay Competition (The Money Shot) but no further in either.

Honestly I was surprised to get as far as I did with The Writer's Network, after I sent those scripts in I was kicking myself, I know I had better ones that I could have sent in.

I don't like to take the festival/contest route but if you've read my earlier posts regarding my "manager/agent" you see I have no choice. So I'll keep on sending stuff: I've got a newer, better arsenal of scripts than I've had in previous years. I've got 2 in particular, THE RAVE AT DANNY CARTER'S HOUSE and THE SCENIC ROUTE that I've already sent out to places like AAA Competition, the Script/Benderspink Open Door and Fade In. Now I just have to play the waiting game - none of these contests will have notifications under Jan/Feb.

So until then I'll keep on keeping on. Guess I can't quit the day job quite yet.


New Yawk

Damn that's a busy city. Lotta people up there, if you were wondering. Okay, sure, it's the Christmas season, in one of the world's largest cities, on a Saturday, so of course it was busy. No, no, it was mobbed.

We took a limo up from down here in NJ, my family, the in-laws (we totaled 13 in all, all in the limo). So we ate at that Mars 2112 joint which was ok, kinda neat; food was decent, the odd waiters were not.

Then we headed over to check out Rockerfeller Center & the big-ass tree, and it was pretty but with the other 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 people around and walking/shoving/trampling through us, it wasn't as fun as it could have been. The kids were cold & pissed. Can't blame them.

We stayed to see a light show at my sister-in-law's urging that ended up being some flashing snowflakes set to X-mas music, then we got trampled/shoved/kicked/pissed on, retreated back to the limo and got the hell back to NJ.

The idea of going up in a limo, having a dinner, seeing some X-Mas crap was cool in theory but the reality? Not so cool.