The Scenic Route

Since my last debacle of a post (the lame-ass comments have been deleted, please stay on-topic) I wanted to lighten the mood a bit and post an excerpt from my recent script called The Scenic Route.

In a nutshell: When Wyatt becomes engaged to his controlling fiance, his childhood camp buddies kidnap him and drag him onto a road trip to show him the life he's soon going to miss.

This script has no voice-over except for the introduction (a narrator has a small VO talking about camp. The beginning of the script shows the friends (PJ, Wyatt, Jimmy and Meatball) at camp (after these scenes we jump ahead to present day). The following picks up at about page 2, as the 4 friends are in the middle of a relay race...............

EXT. CAMPGROUNDS/RUNNING TRAIL
Wyatt is in the lead, and hands the relay stick off to PJ. PJ takes it and runs.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Teamwork is essential in creating the tools that will enable us to build lasting friendships and strong bonds.

EXT. CAMPGROUNDS/RUNNING TRAIL
PJ still leads and approaches Jimmy. Jimmy grabs the relay stick and sprints down the path. After about twenty feet he stops, out of breath.

JIMMY

Oh, man. Fuck this. Phew!

PJ is livid, jumping up and down as other Runners start to pass.

PJ

Run, Jimmy! We’re in the lead!

Jimmy waves at him for acknowledgement, then continues down the path - walking.

JIMMY

I’m good, just gotta walk it off.

(points to his side)

Got a cramp, man. Ouch!

EXT. CAMPGROUNDS/RUNNING TRAIL
Meatball waits for a sign of Jimmy. The other Runners pass him and chuckle. Jimmy finally emerges from the path.

MEATBALL

Jimmy, what the hell?

JIMMY

I’m not a runner, what can I say.

Meatball runs over to Jimmy and grabs the relay stick and takes off running down the remainder of the trail.

JIMMY

Hurry up, Meatball! We still got a chance!

EXT. CAMPGROUNDS/RUNNING TRAIL/FINISH LINE
Meatball runs toward the finish line, dead last. The other Runners are done, and are already walking away from the area.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

And it doesn’t matter, win or lose. What matters most is that you tried your hardest. Gave it your best shot.

Meatball crosses the finish line, pissed.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Unless, of course, you’re dead fucking last.

EXT. CAMPGROUNDS - DAY
Jimmy, PJ, Wyatt, and Meatball walk together through the campgrounds.

WYATT

Damn, Jimmy. After that rad lead we gave you? How could you, man?

JIMMY

Heart just wasn’t in it, boys.

PJ

You are unbelievable!

JIMMY

How about I shit in my hand and throw it at you?

They blow him off and walk a bit further.

MEATBALL

I can’t believe this is our last year here.

JIMMY

You getting all sensitive on us, Meat? You gonna be like that Indian dude on the TV on the side of the highway, a single tear rolling down his cheek?

MEATBALL

We ruined his land.

JIMMY

He was on the side of a highway! What does he expect? Flowers?

MEATBALL

I don’t know, but I bet he would have at least tried to win the relay race.

JIMMY

Ah, you got me there. I think we’ve outgrown relay races and obstacle courses. I mean, we’re sixteen and still in Summer god damn camp.

PJ

Who cares?

JIMMY

I cares.

WYATT

C’mon, we all love it. If we weren’t here, we’d just be back home, getting spit on by Joe Mellwig.

JIMMY

Who’s Joe Mellwig?

WYATT

Just some bully from my neighborhood.

JIMMY

Kick his ass.

WYATT

He’s bigger. Taller. Wider. And he spits.

JIMMY

Well, the chicks back at my school ain’t gonna ride this bus if they know I still go to camp.

MEATBALL

Ain’t you learning about life here?

JIMMY

I’ve learned how to tie six hundred different knots. I was happy after I learned how to double-knot the shoelaces.

PJ

The double-knot does come in handy.

Meatball looks down at his own shoes - Both untied.

MR. TROY, 50s, rolls after them in his wheelchair.

MR. TROY

Dead fucking last I hear.