The Worst!!!

So, what's the WORST movie you EVER saw? After checking out some reponses over at Scott The Reader's latest blog, I was inspired to think back on the biggest pieces of shit I ever wasted my movie-going time on. Some lowlights.....

Firebirds - Nicholas Cage, Sean Young, Tommy Lee Jones, and some Apache helicopters. Dreadful.

A Kiss Before Dying - Sean Young (See a pattern?). Terrible, terrible.

Meatballs 4 - Featuring Corey Feldman and that levitating alien freak, what a great way to take a huge shit all over the original movie (which I liked). Parts 2 & 3 (featuring a young, awkward, Patrick Dempsey) were bad enough, but this cockscab of a movie brings it to a whole new sub-level of bad.

Mac & Me - Diarrhea on film.

Darkman - I may have liked it when it first came out years ago (1991?),and if that's the case I was young and stupid. I saw it last year and what a horribly made/acted/directed/written/shot piece of garbage.

Alien 3 - I still hate this movie. I don't care if ol' Fincher had to re-cut or if the movie was taken away from him, etc, etc. The plot sucked, and it took the story from the 1st two AMAZING FILMS and flushed it all down the toilet. I actually enjoyed Alien 4 much more than this crap.

Alien Vs. Predator - Stupid. Please don't make another. Too late? dammit!

Vertical Limit - Okay, your sister is trapped on a mountain so you piss and moan until you can assemble a team of climbers to help you go get her, and you get MOST of them killed in the process. Nice going, douche. when I saw this in the theater I also noticed the BOOM POLE or an actual film crew member in 80% of the shots, and I'm not lying.

Superman 4 - Quest 4 Peace - Christ Almighty. The battle with Blonde Man was lame enough, but did they notice that a HUMAN BEING was brought up into SPACE and was just floating there, not dying???

The Village - I think M.Night is an awesome director, I just wish he'd stop writing.

Catwoman - Meeooowch! I don't mind watching Halle Berry prance around in tight leather, but have her fight a villain better than - A cosmetics empire?!?!?! Directed by Pitof. 'Nuff said.

Wing Commander - Dumb as a bag of dead monkeys.

A Lot Like Love - Actually harmful to watch.

Chicago - God, how I despised this.

High Tension - Poor taste, and crappy, too.

Shark boy & Lava Girl - I like Robert Rodriguez but this was simply a crap movie.

Iron Eagle 3: Aces - Poor Louis Gossett, Jr.

Most John Waters movies. No, wait, all of them.

That's all I can come up with off the top of my head. I'm sure I'll think of more. What are some of yours??

POTC!

Well, it's landing at 132 million.

Saw the movie last night - Loved it. Great stuff happening in there. The Perfect Summer movie, and a perfect compliment to the 1st film, and I eagerly await to see what they come up with in the final installment, "At World's End."

Orlando Bloom has some nice stuff in here, his scenes with Stellan Skaarsgard are great, and this movie fleshes out some stuff we've heard about in the first movie. I like Bloom, shame he got stuck in the clunker, Elizabethtown, but I don't see that as his fault, that was more of Cameron Crowe's blunder.

Keira, sweet as always, and her character's actions are interesting to see.

Loved Bill Nighy as Davey Jones. Wow. Incredible work by him as well as the F/X team.

Depp - What can you say. Still owns this role, and his I did like what they did with his character here.

Gore Verbinski should get a special commendation for steering this ship, he's got so much well-choreographed action sequences going on at the same time throughout, it was a delight to see. Also, if you think he can only do big Summer flicks, check out The Weather Man, which he directed last year.

Was it a perfect movie? No, but it was fun as hell. Better than the 1st? I'd say it's a good companion piece. It's what a Summer movie should be.

Also, stick around through the end credits, there's a little something at the end that's quite funny.

Pirate$ Update

Pirates grossed 54.9 million.....on Friday. That killed the previous 1 day record holder (Sith) and they're estimating it will rake in 135-145 for the weekend (old record is Spidey 1 at 114.8 million).

Feedback'd

Okay, here is my feedback for The BlueCat Screenplay competition for my script, THE MONEY SHOT, followed by brief comments for CRICKET HILL, which I entered into Writers On The Storm (which was before Prospect Pictures picked it (and me) up to turn it into a TV series).

The following is from Bluecat, regarding The Money Shot (originally written in 2000). In a nutshell - college student loses financial aid & tries to make a porn:

WHAT DID YOU LIKE ABOUT THIS SCRIPT?

It’s definitely got some funny moments - there’s some good character based humor, as well as some laugh out loud slapstick scenarios. The premise of a group of film students shooting a clandestine porn film on the side isn’t particularly original, but it is handled with a genuine affection for its subject matter, and enough fresh angles that the overall script didn’t feel as though it had all been done before.

The characters were diverse and most of the major ones had some interesting levels to them. The relationship and interaction between Kenny and his friends was well presented and intriguing. The dialogue and tone was consistent and for the most part well matched to the characters, although there were some issues. (See part two.) The characters didn’t all sound the same - a frequent problem in many scripts. Boston’s snappy one-liners were funny, and the excruciating dialogue of Kenny’s parents in front of Megan was perfectly over-the-top. The action and description was clear, well written, and visual; and the story was easy to follow without any confusing or distracting scenes. There was a good balance between physical humor and dialogue/character humor, and some funny, original scenarios, usually plausibly constructed. The “Adam and Eve” scene on page 77 was very funny - although I think it could’ve been pushed even further. In general, I didn’t feel the story line lagged or slowed down at any point, and the tension of how long they could get away with their film-making unnoticed was nicely sustained. The opening scene was great, and a nice way to introduce the varied characters, as well as set the tone and subject matter of the script. The bracketing of Kenny’s voiceover in the opening and closing scenes works well thematically to tie the script together, and offers a nicely unexpected heartwarming feeling about the joys of sitting back with a group of friends and watching midget porn. Who would’ve thought?

WHAT DO YOU THINK NEEDS WORK?
There are some character inconsistencies. Grace is set up as an uptight prude - we meet her as she’s organizing a protest against the local go-go bar. When we find her smoking pot on page 82, it’s out of character. We can believe her and Gabriel’s tryst in the gym - the uptight prude turns out to be suppressing desires that have got the better of her - but her getting stoned just didn’t seem believable. The Dean’s dialogue doesn’t read realistically at many points - even considering that his character is preachy and didactic.

There might be a benefit to having an actor (or friend) read the lines aloud, and listening to whether or not they flow naturally. There’s also a problem throughout the story of the stakes involved. They never seemed high enough, which weakens the drama. What are the consequences of Kenny not graduating for another six months? Yeah, it sucks, but a whole lot of students don’t graduate on time, and life works out. He needs to have a strong emotional reason - gaining his father’s respect, winning true love, something powerful, something meaningful for Kenny, whatever that might be. Along with higher stakes for accomplishing his goals, there needs to be higher risks if he fails. In fact, there needs to be more risk for all the characters, and the risks need to escalate throughout the film. As it is now, it’s difficult for the audience to truly care about their situation and whether or not their porno succeeds. (I’d argue that the first “Revenge of the Nerds” was a much better movie than its sequels largely because in the first one the two main characters were fighting for one’s father’s respect, and the other’s first true love; in the sequel, they were fighting for an inter-fraternity competition.) If Kenny’s emotional life hangs in the balance between succeeding and failing, then we have a reason to root for him to succeed. The script, as it is now, would make a cute movie, but it could be much more.

Pretty good notes. I disagree slightly on their take of Grace; at that point in the script she has sorta lost all hope, and the point was that although she was a prude she was a closet pothead. Their main concern was with the "stakes." I agree with them to a point, although in the script I did make several mentions of a huge job opportunity for Kenny upon graduating, but if they're mentioning it as a negative then I should make that clearer.

As for Writers On The Storm - Good contest, cheap entry (like Bluecat, it was $35) and they give feedback (not as in depth, but it's nice to hear ANY notes on your screenplay. They did mention that they had 907 entries, and that 210 made the quarter-finals, and that mine came in at 250. Not too shabby.

"A well-written, entertaining script. the dialogue is sharp and many of the scenes have a good amount of conflict. The tension is good throughout most of the script, but some of the structure is off. Overall, it was a fun read. Good effort and good luck." Their scoring came down to checkmarks in the GOOD categories for Premise, Characters, and Dialogue, and SO-SO for Structure.

Well, they were right about the structure, but the script was never your typical 3-act Syd Field blueprint, and that was on purpose. But that's also the reason why when Prospect Pictures decided to take it on, they said it makes a better TV series than a feature, and since I started developing it with them as a TV pilot, I couldn't agree more!

I am awaiting Cricket Hill Bluecat feedback, and when I get that I'll post that, too.

Okay, I'm done. I'm hoping to catch Pirates 2 this weekend with the wife, and it's my B-day on Sat! Go on, say it!

Des Serpents!!!

It's coming soon, gang! Best movie of the year? Well, no. Will it make a lot of $$? Well, maybe not. I picture opening big for an action flick (no more than 25 million, I bet it makes 18-20 in it's opening weekend), then it'll fall off quickly and make about 60 million total, maybe 80 if it has any legs. But, it will likely be HUGE on DVD.

They're murmuring that Pirates 2 might beat the all-time opening weekend gross. I think it's possible. It looks great and will wipe all the other movies out this weekend. My $350 million estimate may be way off, it might do north of 400 million. Dang!

FeedMeBack

BlueCat feedback will be posted on my site, they said it should be e-mailed by 7/15. I'll include every word, except anything negative. Oh, stop, I'm joking.

The first act of Cricket Hill TV Pilot is locked down, now I'm working on Acts 2 & 3, as well as a re-write of my feature script, FOOD FIGHT. Once FF is done, my manager will take it out, sell it, and I'll retire.

After I wake up, I'll then finish my high-concept idea (co-story by credit goes to my bro-in-law, Ken!) called The Stand-In. It's an idea so good, so high concept, that I dare not announce it yet! It's good! Also working on 3 other high concept comedies, 2 awesome ones coming from my wife's mind (She's good! Her first idea she ever had scored us an option back in 1998!). My manager will be pushing me as a high concept comedy dude, so it'll be a long (but fun) summer of getting these scripts done.

Haven't seen Superdude yet, we only see a handful of movies per year due to children and a lack of decent babysitting, so it may have to wait. however, I WILL SEE Pirates 2 in the theater, dammit!

I hope NJ will open back up again soon. Quite a sad statement when your state has to close (even the beaches?!?!?! What the f***!). Oh, that was FUCK for those who couldn't read asterisk.

Cranked!

Check this poster out - It's for a movie called CRANK, which sounds like a sorta update of an underrated Dennis Quaid movie from a ways back called DOA. In this, a man (Jason Stratham) has been injected with a poison that will kill him in 1 hour unless he's constantly stimulated by adrenaline (think kick ass action stuff, yeah!) as he tried to track down the bad guys. Nice!

Well, Superman is kicking butt. Not kicking ass, but I'd say more of a butt. It did 21 million on Weds (Spidey 2 made 40.4 million on its opening day) and Supes did 11 million on Thursday (down a larger percentage that War Of the Worlds) and is estimated to hit about 90 million for 5 days. The main thing will be how it holds up, espcially with the juggernaut of Pirates of the Johnny Deppster approaching, although I'm wondering if some people will be turned off since Pirates 2 ends with a sorta cliffhanger (Pirates 3 is next summer). I doubt it, I think Pirates will still rake it in.

3 !

Can't wait until May, 2007!

My Box Office Estimates - An update!

Back in March, I posted about what the summer box office might look like. Let's see how I'm doing thus far.......

I've got Superman at 480 million. (chuckles). Well, maybe that's high, although the movie looks great and like I said then, if it turns out to be great, and something the kids can get into also, then maybe I'm NOT so crazy.

Pirates 2 - I guessed 375 million. I stand by that 100%. People love the Depp as Cap'n Jack, and rightly so, he owns it, makes people laugh, and so on. This is the only movie that could put a beat down on Supes. If I'm wrong it'll be because I didn't estimate enough.

Cars - Cool movie, I liked it a lot. Some amazing animation here. But it ain't gonna hit 350 million, which was my guess, it might be more like 240-250 million. I thought it might a few months back, but now I realize that although kids will flock to it, not too so many GIRLS will flock to it, mostly boys who think race cars are cool (and their Dad's who KNOW race cars are cool). It's actually a great family movie.

DaVinci - I'm sorry, I assumed it was actually going to be a good movie. I was so bored I couldn't even fall asleep. It just barely squeaked by 200 million so my 275 estimate ain't gonna happen. And it doesn't deserve it either.....on a Ron Howard side note, just (finally) caught Cinderella Man - Great movie, Crowe was awesome, loved everything about it. By the way, maybe I'm too tough on DaVinci, it had some good moments, like when the rear view mirror broke!

MI:3 - I said 240, it's hovering around 130 and will stop around there. Why? It deserves at least 250, and it's a shame. Well, it's Cruiseball's fault for shoving his dopey opinions in the world's face, but he still made a KICK ASS movie.

X-3 - I was damn close - I estimated 230, it's now at 225 after making 4.4 million this weekend, so I'll be a little off, but pretty close!

Poseiden - I estimated 200 million - Oops!

Over Da Hedge - I guessed 180-190, which as it turns out will be a little high, it's now a bit over 140 and pretty much done.

Click - I've got it at 175, it just made 40 million as it's opening, it should kick ass through the 4th weekend. Depends how it'll hold up. Too early to tell.

The Break-Up - I pegged it at 150. It just went by 100 mil, but it's losing steam so my guess will be too high.

The Fast and REALY Furious 3 - I thought 80. It won't make 80.

Nacho - I said 80 million, and it appears that I was dead-on. Experts are guessing it'll end around 75-80.

The Omen - I guessed 80, it's at 60 and dropping like Julia Styles career, so that estimate will be high.

Everything else on the list has yet to open, so I'll have to throw down an update in about a month.

Cricket Hill & Food Fight!

Pic is from Pretty Persuasion, directed by Marcos Siega, produced by Prospect Pictures.

I'm in the process of "locking down" act 1 of the Cricket Hill TV series pilot. Once I finish this post, I plan on wrapping it up and e-mailing it over to Prospect Pictures. I've got all the notes I need from them, they are really awesome regarding making notes, etc, about everything.Every change I've made has made the project 1000% better. Then we'll write Acts 2 & 3 into stone and we'll be good to go. It's been going very smoothly and I've loved every moment of this experience.

Also just finished my Food Fight! draft (feature). It went over very well, just a bit of tweaking of Act 3 and we're going to send it on out into the world. My manager has been kicking ass with this one; he's already talked about it with a ton of people in the indusrty and they are eagerly awaiting it. The plan is to take it out and attach a few actors/a director. He's aiming at a Jack Black/Luke or Owen Wilson/Ryan Reynolds/Vince Vaughn/Will Ferrell - you get the point, it's got two male leads, so some sort of cool, fun combo will really make it kick ass. Jason Bateman (not a huge name, but a great actor with a kick-ass sarcastic/paranoid/neurotic/hilarious demeanor would also be perfect for one of the roles.

Song of the day - Mason Jennings - BE HERE NOW.

Updates, Etc....

That's the poster for the upcoming Gondry movie, the Science Of Sleep. I wish all posters at least TRIED to do something creative and different like this one. Great poster.

Here's an update.

Working on the final touches of the Cricket Hill script. We're in the "locking down scenes" phase now. It's looking good.


Caught up with some movies:

X-Men - Eh. Liked the concept, but way too short to have that many characters. Why the hell is Angel on ANY posters? He's in it for 2 minutes! He doesn't even warrant his own flashback! And how do you kill off a major character, off-screen no less, and have pretty much NO reaction to it from any of the characters?? I like Beast, and Grammer was good.

DaVinci - Eh. It was long, it felt long, and for such a fascinating subject/plot, was very uneventful. I felt every minute of it.

MI:3 - Easily the best of the summer thus far, best of the year so far is United 93.

Over The Hedge/Cars - Both are fun, smart, and damn cute, and both create excellent visuals in their worlds. Great stuff all around. The end credits of Cars was especially well done.

On DVD:
Underwhelmed 2. Oh, I mean Underworld 2. Boring as shit. Took 2 nights to watch it. It sucked. 1st was was pretty tedius, and redundant, as well as redundant, but I actually liked the 1st one better. Not much, mind you. These movies are a WASTE of an excellent idea (werewolf/vampire war? How freakin' cool is that?!). Yet, for most of their battles, they just shoot at each other.

Fun With Dick & Jane - I loved the hell out of this, and that surprised me. Jim Carrey owned it, and Tea Leoni rocked hard as well. I just liked it's fun, lightweight feel, and there were some terrific set-pieces. The whole immigrant/Mexico/busted mouth/"Hola" sequence was amazing. Alec Baldwin was good as usual.

Date Movie - Had some good laughs but ran out of steam pretty fast.

On TV:
Big Love finale kicked ass. Entourage is back and it looks like it'll be a great season. Also, looking forward to Psyche and I'm also digging The 4400.

Music - Snow Patrol's album is great. Also, check out Gnarles Barkley, Editors, and Mason Jennings.

Batman, Lois & Supes!

How's Routh gonna do as Superman?

An Auteur Walks Into A Bar And Says.........

Hearing some of the news coming out of Cannes regarding Richard Kelly's SOUTHLAND TALES inspired this post. It's about directors (and writer/directors) who really need someone over their shoulder, helping guide them sometimes.

Because sometimes, well, many times, they'd make a much better movie if only they listened to other opinions.

Look, I don't know if Southland sucks or not, who knows, it might blow me away. But EVERY review has been horrible, so it doesn't look good for it. Even Richard Kelly was quoted to say something like "I'm not sure what we're going to do........" Not a good sign.

You see, these guys are given too much rope, and often hang themselves with it. Here's some good and bad examples:

Richard Kelly - He did Donnie Darko, which I liked. Not loved. Mainly because of his music choices, when you think about it, that movie loses a ton of power at the end if you take away the cover of Tears For Fears "Mad World." But regardless, it's a great debut. Apparently, he's dropped the ball on Southland. We'll see.

Terrence Malick - Didn't see the New World yet, but I'm mainly referring to Thin Red Line. It was a good movie, but wildly overrated by some. If you take out 40 minutes of gibberish you'd have a kick-ass movie. And I'm not talking about action scenes. Jarhead didn't have much "action" but I was enthralled by it. No, I'm talking about the gibberish while we see a 10 minute shot of morning dew....and then a lady bug walks by! Dude, this is a war movie, and the grunts you are portraying aren't staring off into the dense foilage thinking "Where's the light within." No, they're thinking "I hope I get out of these fucking woods alive without an assful of malaria."

Quentin Tarantino - Did we really need two movies (3+ hours) of Kill Bill? Hell, no. He's pissing away his talent on that crap. Did it have some cool sequences and kick-ass fights? Sure, but c'mon. We didn't need two movies. Saw Jackie Brown the other night on HBO again, good damn movie. Somebody should've pulled him aside and said "Dude, make one kick-ass 2 hour movie and move on."

Peter Jackson - I loved King Kong. But it was too damn long. There was no reason to make that movie 3 hours long. Again, Kong as a 2 hour flick would kick major ass, we simply didn't need to know that much about old NY and who really cares that her play is shutting down. Snooze, bring on the monkey!

Georgie Lucas - I've ranted about this one too many times, so I won't get into it too much. He's a master of production & F/X, I just wish he had let someone else write and direct the prequels. They're your babies George? Sure, ok, crackhead mothers have babies, too, and they aren't the best mothers in the world.

Cameron Crowe - Elizabethtown - nice idea for a movie, but it seems like something some low-budget indie kid from Mumblefuck USA might make. Nothing wrong with making a personal story, but at least make it interesting.

Some good examples:

PT Anderson - Magnolia walks the line, but I was blown away by it, and with Hard 8 & Boogie Nights also under his belt, this dude knows what he's doing. Punch-Drunk Love is terrific in my book.

Wes Anderson - his Amex commercial reminds me of why I like him. He could have made The Life Aquatic 3 hours long I'm sure. But he didn't. And while it was no Royal Tennenbaums or Rushmore or even Bottle Rocket, well, his other movies are Royal Tennebaums, Rushmore & Bottle Rocket, and The Life Aquatic makes a fine addition.

Marty - Gangs of NY walks the line, too, but it's got a lot of story to tell. Unfortunately, most of that story is a pretty lame revenge tale, but it's still a fascinating film, and Daniel Day-Lewis absolutely blows my mind in that one. The Aviator wasn't my cup of tea, but it seems like he's back on track with The Departed.

Jimmy Cameron - Yeah, Titanic was long, but at least it didn't take 2 hours to get onto it, you were on it from the beginning. Plus much of it is brilliant filmmaking. He's sure taking his time with his next feature film follow-up though, hopefully it'll be worth the wait.


Look, all of these guys are great filmmakers, don't get me wrong. But sometimes, they're not right, and maybe during the writing phase (like Richard Kelly or QT) someone should have torn apart their scripts instead of just nodding their heads screaming "brilliant!"

Any other examples?

Spilling Some Beans

So, who exactly am I working with to make Cricket Hill into a kick-ass TV series? You wanna know? Well, I'll tell ya.

Prospect Pictures. Yup, that's a movie they made right there, Pretty Persuasion, that played at Sundance and was released last year (now available on DVD). Good movie, pretty daring.

That film's director, Marcos Siega, is on-board to potentially direct the pilot of Cricket Hill, and I'm working very closely with him and the rest of the gang at Prospect to make this show a reality.

Marcos recently finished directing The Chaos Theory, starring Ryan Reynolds & Emily Mortimer, and has also directed several top TV shows including Veronica Mars & Cold Case, and countless music videos including several from Weezer (including Beverly Hills, Hash Pipe and Keep Fishin' (the one with the muppets)), All-American Rejects ("Swing, swing, swing!!"), 311, Blink 182 (All the Small Things, What's My Age Again?), POD, System Of A Down (Chop Suey), etc, etc, tons more.

Prospect also has Barry Munday in production, starring Luke Wilson & Zooey Deschanel, and Brian Cox.

I'm awaiting further notes on my pilot re-write. It's down to 33 pages, we're shooting to make it a half-hour. I should have the notes by the end of the week.

Working with them on Cricket Hill has been quite amazing. They know their shit, and are totally behind the project.

I got their permission to mention them as the guys behind Cricket Hill. Why? Well, mainly so you guys out there can see that it's possible to get a SMART company with many contacts within the industry to back your stuff. Many of you already knew that, sure, but it may be news to some of you beginning writers out there. They found me on winningscriptspro.com, not from some festival or contest, which just proves that websites like that one and inktip.com can make it happen for you if you can get your scripts in shape and list them.

It's been quite a ride thus far, it's cool to have an actual production company with ties all across Hollywood to believe in your work, and eager to help make it into something great.

I'll keep you all posted as things progress.

Principal Vernon

Ah, this sucks, dead from cancer (from asbestos for corn's sake). Great, great character actor, and of course he was in the classic in THE BREAKFAST CLUB, an amazing movie (one of my faves), and in the scene that gave this blog here its name.

Paul Gleason, we'll miss you.

How To Sell Part Deux

I'm back, we skipped away for the weekend to Massanutten (a resort in Virginia) for the weekend. They've basically raped the perfect forests & mountainsides of this amazing, beautiful area and dropped thousands of townhouses across the region, and invited the tourists and timeshare owners. It's quite disgusting how this once-beautiful area has been pissed on by development. Having said that, we had a blast.

I figured I would just follow up my previous post with a Part 2 to continue the discussions. Good points you've all made. I'll reply to your questions:

What do I think about Creative Screenwriting's Contest? Go for it, they seem like they know how to run it well, seem fair (no, I've never won but have placed) and it's not TOO HUGE that you'll get lost in a zillion entries.

Script Magazine - Oh, they can suck on BOTH of my balls. Honestly, they seem like pricks. I actually placed pretty decent with them a few years back with a comedy script, but I just don't like their attitude. Go and read their rules & regs, which to a point I understand, but also make them sound like assipes. They say that don't have to read past 30 pages if they don't want to---No assholes, we're sending you 45 fucking dollars, the least you can do is read it to the last fucking page. Fuck them.

I agree that if you're starting out and have no representation, contests are a great way to go and cut your teeth on the process, deadlines, rejection, etc. And if you can place in 1 or 2 decent contests, maybe you can snag a GOOD manager.

Aaron, sorry about the hot pics, I couldn't help it.

Regarding Cricket Hill, no I have no worries. I am in very good hands.

Slamdance offers feedback I believe, which is awesome. Feedback will always help, so I think they're a good bet. Plus, people KNOW about Slamdance & Sundance. Austin is a must for any screewriter, being a finalist basically gave me full access to everything when I went, but it's an amazing festival nonetheless.

Bluecat Screenplay Competition & Writer's On the Storm (Storm is new) both offer feedback and are cheap ($35) but both deadlines are past, however, catch them next year. They both seem to be run by good, smart people, and again the low fee & feedback are bonuses. If you can grab a spot in Nicholl, then go man. That's HUGE. Even quarter-finalists get plenty of script requests, just keep in mind that they usually get well over 5000 entries so don't send a half-baked script, get it ready (deadline also past).

And if you ARE placing/winning any contests, then great! But you're not done, you work is just starting.

Look, certainly take what I write with a grain of salt, I'm just discussing my experiences, yours may be 1000% different. Again, just don't reply on contests, get your work OUT THERE. Yes, copywrite it, writer's guild it, mail it to yourself, whatever, just don't be afraid to make your script known to the world.

I've had a couple of e-mails with writer's worried about getting ripped off, well, guess what, I guarantee you're not the ONLY writer that thought of whatever idea you have, and the other guys/gals that also have the same idea probably aren't afraid to take a freakin' chance and toss it out there, so GET IT OUT THERE.

Whatever you do, GET IT OUT THERE!

How to Sell A Script

Yeah, like I know.

But maybe I can help. I used to send my screenplays to just about any and every contest that came down the pike. What a waste of cash.

Are contests meaningless? Well, mostly. If you're going to enter some, pick the reputable ones, like Nicholl, BlueCat, Austin, Scriptapalooza. The Sundance Lab. They all at least have a track record and some in the industry do pay attention to who wins them (notably Nicholl).

But how many pay attention really? Here's the thing. I ALMOST won the Austin Film Festival's comedy competition in 2003 with my feature script, Cricket Hill. It came in 2nd place out of 3000 scripts. Not bad. And off of that, I didn't sell it. (had some meetings though, also my suck-ass manager at the time didn't help me situation). But the guy who won? Did he ever sell it? Not that I've heard.

One thing I do notice on some of these contests is the winners. Some of these winners have won multiple contests, I've seen quite a few winner's lists with the same names/scripts popping up on many of them. Awesome for them, I bet their script must rock.

But they haven't sold it yet. Contest cash is nice to get, but what's the point if no one is buying your shit?

I'm not against contests, hell, just a few months back I listed all the ones I had coming up and entered, etc. But I look back and see just how futile it is. You might have the best script EVER, and let's pretend it's a family drama. Well, the reader of whatever contest has just read 2 family dramas in a row and is sick to fucking death of them, so he skims it, and tosses it. And you're done. You should have wiped your ass with that $50 instead.

Not all are like this I'm sure. But I have RARELY seen even multiple winners of contests sell/option their work ever after taking top prizes, really with the exception of Nicholl and I believe Scriptapalooza had some options. But I doubt it was based soley on contest wins.

Market the shit of yourself. List them at places like Inktip.com & winningscriptspro.com. Do those work? Still a crapshoot, but it worked for me - Cricket Hill, that script that almost won Austin 2.5 years ago? Well, right now I'm adapting it into a TV series after some awesome kick-ass producers grabbed it off of winningscriptspro.com, as some of you guys know from my previous posts. And I had a close call just a few months back with another script called The Money Shot when some producers saw it on Inktip. These sites work, simple as that.

And go pitch, there are a few pitchfests each year, go and get your asses out there and pitch your shit, man! (That's how I got Manager #1 in 1998). I'm now on my 3rd (and best) manager.

Afraid somebody might steal it if you pitch it to them or list it on these websites? Well, then don't pitch it, I'm sure it'll do you a lot of good stuck on your hard drive.

So, contests are ok, but NOT THE ANSWER. If you can place in one or two, fine, but don't sit on your ass, you've gotta do more work and get your damn self out there. Also, one of the best things I can suggest is to have two scripts ready. Because if you get in the producer's office, they might like the script but not love it, and the next thing out of their mouth will be: "Well, what else do you have?"

Rip Offs At Cannes

Saw these on-line, what a travesty these movies surely are....

I Make Myself Laugh

Just thought of a funny movie title, I picture it a buddy comedy: It's called "Dildo & The Douche."

Fast Food Nation, Da Vinci, Hedge

Fast Food Nation looks terrific, check out the teaser trailer over at Youtube.com. Greg Kinnear looks great, maybe they'll give him another nomination for this one, I got a feeling.

Saw 2 movies this weekend, Over the Hedge & Da Vinci. Over the Hedge was better. Actually, it was damn funny, and the kids liked it. Bruce Willis was good as the hero, RJ, but my favorites were Garry Shandling as the turtle and Steve Carrell blew me away as the squirrel - There is a scene with the squirrel toward the end of the movie that will make you piss yourself with laughter. An all-around well done, great-looking movie.

Da Vinci was good. Not amazing, But good. MI:3 was much better. My problem wasn't the story, it's actually a great idea for a movie/book, although the "revelations" in it are nothing new to me having taken Art History classes in college. Could it be true? Sure can. Will it change the foundation of religion? Nope, Catholics are too damn thick headed to believe anything else than what they want to believe. I should know, I was raised Catholic. My point is - at least open yourself up to the possiblity that maybe the history of Christianity isn't all true. Could there be a God? Sure there could. Might there not be anything at all like God? Also possible.

Oh, the movie. Well, a lot of movies that are 2+ hours really fly by. This didn't. I really felt ever minute of it. The pacing was off which I thought hurt it the most. The acting was fine (Bettany a stand-out) but at the end of the day it's not something I'd go see again. Would I buy the DVD? Eh, maybe, on sale. But I'd never be excited to throw it in and watch it.

Saw the full Lady In The Water preview. Didn't give it much thought when I first saw the teaser & poster, but this trailer showed a lot more promise.