Tuesday, November 29, 2005


I hate waiting on these screenwriting festivals/competitions/rolls-of-the-dice for them to annouce their finalists. I've got 2 in particular that I'm waiting on, The Screenplay Festival and the Writer's Network. I hear there's a new one coming soon called "Even If You Win This Festival Nobody Will Buy Your Script Competition."

My script THE MONEY SHOT is currently a semi-finalist in the Screenplay Festival. Fingers crossed. But I've noticed a few scripts within my category that have been winning/placing high at other competitions, so if I can squeeze in there I'll be surprised. Ah, who knows.

Then there's The Writer's Network; they allowed us to send 2 scripts, which I did. I sent Shuttlecock! and Brightsword. Shuttlecock is a comedy about one man's redemption set against the backdrop of Championship Badminton. And then I've got Brightsword, which is like Lord Of the Rings but a comedy (and without any rings). Not sure how they grade these things, Screenplay Fest is supposed to announce this week I believe and Network on December 1st.

So until then I'll hold off on using the razor blades.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

The Friends Zone

No screenwriting updates tonight, just a movie review. No, no, I didn't go see In The Mix. I still got Usher's back though.

Funny freakin movie, JUST FRIENDS. A good example of comedy done well, if you ask me. Everyone in it is stellar. Ryan Reynolds stands out, he's just perfect. I like him as much as Vince Vaughn really, they've both got that sorta improv-off-the-cuff delivery going. I hear it may do about 12-15 mil which ain't bad, it couldn't have cost much to make. Great job, Ryan. Let me get a few scripts out to you.......

Anna Farris is perfect as the singer, and you'd be smart to stick around for her song at the end of the credits. Good stuff. Amy Smart adds some nice touches to what could have been a typical love interest role. And I like that Chris Klein, he's great against-type in this - A Jersey Playa. And whoever that kid is who plays the brother (he was in Girl's Next Door, the wannabe director) just rocks. A+.

Saw a preview for The Ringer. Looks funny, but probably needs to be Rated R to be FUNNY.

Friday, November 25, 2005


Okay, I've got an update on the Canadian production company that loved my script but wanted me to completely change EVERYTHING in it but
keep everything they loved about it.........HUH?! Dude makey no sensey.

A quick synopsis of the script. It's called The Money Shot and is about a College Film Student who reluctantly makes a porn to sell for a quick buck when there's a screw-up with his financial aid. that's it in a nutshell, anyway. so the Candians loved the script, well at least my contact did, but now wanted me to change the concept. Here's an e-mail I just received:

""Sorry I've been crazy busy with work and family stuff. But fear not I have not forgotten about you. I think maybe you should consider elderly men doing the porn? what do you think? really try to detach yourself from the story and go back to what's really good about this film. I think its your characters and the fact that they are making porn. maybe all of theses guy are like film buffs, or older film makers that got sick of making features. not sure but try to run with the old man thing I think if you combined "Grumby Old Men" with the "Girl next Door" you might have something. Let me know what you think again its just and idea.""

Jesus Christ, man. Old Men. Making Porn??? Isn't that creepy? Who do they cast? Their daughters or grandkids? And I can smell the Viagra jokes 7 miles away. Or have old people as the porno actors, maybe they'd cast an aging porn star, some hot cripple in her 70s, yeah, that'll sell. Yuck. Christ, man.

The beauty of my original concept (and again, I'm not against tweaking, polishing, re-writing to improve what's there, etc, I'm not saying it's perfect) but it's fun when it's college kids. And with the with all the financial aid crap that we sometimes deal with, the audience can RELATE. Who the hell would see old people doing it? And why? Did their pensions run out?

Holy cow.

Thursday, November 24, 2005


Yeah, it's Thanksgiving. This year we ordered from our friendly neighborhood Genuardi's (a popular if strike-prone NJ supermarket). Anyhoo, we ordered everything from them instead of making it ourselves. The wife and I assumed they'd have it all pre-cooked so we could just heat the shit up and voila! Dinner! Not so, everything's gotta be cooked anyway, and now I'm as annoyed as Georgie Bush looking for a way out of an awkward news conference.

I guess we could have worse problems.

Nothing new on the screenplay front this week. Waiting to hear from a couple contests I've entered, and have jumped into a cool, fun new script I started writing last week and already hit into page 40+. Damn I love that.

Friday, November 18, 2005


Okay, so this company in Canada asked for one of my scripts. I sent it, and they guy flipped. Loved it, said he's make it right now. AWESOME! I thought. Now, I've been down this road before, so I usually don't get my hopes up these days, but he was amped.

All he had to do was present it to his partners. Great! Look forward to their thoughts!

Couple days pass and I get the call: They like it, but they're on the fence. Damn that fence. So, I say, I understand that, I'm not against re-tooling or doing a re-write, whatever, you know? He tells me to send another script I wrote which has similiar themes as the one he likes, I think this is a good idea since it sounds like EXACTLY what they're looking for.

It wasn't. My guy says he liked the first script better, however, he wanted me to change the ENTIRE plot/concept/story, which completely kills the story and the whole point of it all. I mean, I'd be starting from scratch. And even then Iw as like, okay, I'm not against changing things or working with these guys, you? They've showed and interest, which is more than my fucking manager has shown. But I wrote to him and told him basically that I wouldn't want to work on something in the HOPES that they'd like or enough to buy or option it.

His reply:
"As far as your script goes, I really can't commit to saying i can give you my 100% attention. I really like the idea and I think, if you are up for it, we can work on it together and but i can't say that at the in one month we will buy it and make it. I think we should keep the concept and re-build the story from the ground up & keep the idea but lets play with who they are and why they do what they do. I'm not sure it you like that but I will work on it with you but more on my own time. I really think you have something special and I want to mold it to it can be that golden script that everyone wants. Then we can pass it along to my partners and see if its something we all want. (obviously i will want, it more them.) So what i suggest for right now is that you go back and try to forget the story and keep the concept and go from there. Feel free to email me with your ideas and I will do the same. what do you think? Hope to hear from you soon."

Sure, dude.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

What A Prick

Okay, so I'm looking for a new manager. The one I have just isn't cuting it. He's not cutting anything. He'll send out a synopsis or logline, via fax, every month or so and see if anyone bites. No one usually does because what production company is waiting by the fax to get a list of loglines? Also, my guy, bless his weird heart, also answers his own phone. Not a big deal, but he'll answer is using a soft voice, then put me on hold, and pick up with his "real" voice. that just ain't right.

So I've been on a search for a new manager/agent. By the way, my guy says he's both. Is that possible? So I write to one in particular (I actually e-mailed a "creative assistant" at the management compay), explain my plight, and he says to send my best sample. Yes!! So I do, and he writes back (rather quickly) that it didn't "do anything" for him story-wise. So I send him another, something a bit more edgy, by the prickish way he writes I'm thinking he wants edgy. His reply is "Read the 1st 30 pages, it didn't rock my world. Good luck."

Hey asshole, didn't rock your world? Who talks like that? And then to add further salt to the wound, to say "good luck" as if, well. you're done. 'Night. I mean, look, I understand how things work in ol' Hollywood. It just pisses me off to no end that I got cock-blocked by some assistant, and the way he talked (okay, wrote) down to me like I was bottom-feeding garbage completely pissed me off. I mean, yo dude, you can be a little nicer, say something like "it was funny but not really my style....Not bad but not really what we're looking for."

Didn't rock your world. "CREATIVE Assistant." That's a good one.

Thursday, November 10, 2005


Man, what a weird thing. I did a sort-of scan of other blogging sites, and wow. Interested bunch of wack-jobs we are on this here planet. But that's a good thing. There were sites about being in France, walking around Cambodia, romance stories, something about alligators (not on a helicopter, real alligators - I think they were running the blog, I didn't stick around to ask questions).

And I had my first comment left for me! It was awesome. and then I looked at the comment. Spam! Rock on!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Star Wars, Yo

Why the hell didn't Tarkin (and the Death Star) just blast through the planet with their LASER DEATH RAY which would have revealed the moon that the rebel base was on, and then blast the shit out of that, too? They took out Alderaan earlier on, so the size shouldn't have been a problem. I'm probably late to hop onto this question, I'm sure it's been brought up before, and maybe someone even asked George Lucas about it.....and then he led them behind Skywalker Ranch and Godfathered them to death.

Sith is out, as we know. And I usually scoop up Star Wars stuff as soon as it hits the shelves, but not this time. I'll get it soon, just to complete my collection, but I'm just soured on Star Wars. Don't get me wrong, they're still better than half the stuff out there, and better than 99% of sci-fi movies that are released, but the stench of the first 2 prequels made the 3rd one just a good movie instead of an amazing end to what should have been a fantasic story (the prequels). Georgie got stuck in a bland love story, and Menace was a complete waste. In my book, if I had written the damn things, the story would begin with Attack of the Clones, maybe have some of the important plot points touched on at the beginning, have the Clone Wars set up for my version of the 2nd (and I mean actually show the damn Wars, not the tail end of them, or wait for some arty cartoon to show them (ok, it's a cool cartoon, but still). They're so referenced and discussed in the original trilogy, that I think they should have been shown to us further. We love them battles, man!

Then having robots and clones battle each other, I mean, who cares? It's like a bunch of rocks fighting each other, we don't know them, and don't give a rat's. Anakin's gotta turn sooner, or start to, and have more time with Obi-Wan (they need to be closer as friends or at least apprentice/mentors) so their battle at the end MEANS something emotionally.

Lucas didn't have it all wrong, I mean, he's got the visuals down, and all the Palpatine stuff is spot on. I can still watch the original trilogy with wonder and awe, it's just a shame that I watch the new trilogy and go Hmm, okay then. And it's also a shame that George apparently doesn't give a poop.

But who am I , just some home inspector in NJ trying to sell a flippin screenplay, so maybe George is right.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Jarhead - Yowza!!

Well, that's just about as perfect as a movie can be. A++ all around, the cast, the direction (Mendes is 3 for 3), solid script, nice score,a nd visually stunning. Sarsgaard better at least get nominated, loved the Foxx, and Jake was stunning. So far, it's my fav of the year, I'd also include Crash on a top 10 list. We'll see what else gets on there. Munich looks soul-crushingly good and Kong will be a nice ride. Yours Mine & Ours will likely beat Jarhead though.....oh, c'mon, I kid. I do like the Dennis Quaid though, he'll recover. The man's gotta eat, you know?