Random updates

Name the movie - "You're young, you got your health. What you want with a job??"

Cricket Hill's development is proceeding quite nicely. The Company Who Optioned has really taken the lead and is moving ahead on it. We've had a recent development (a good one) that I won't go into at this stage, it's way too early to say, but if it goes through I will detail it here. Fingers are crossed.

I threw another of my recent scripts, The Rave At Danny Carter's House, up on Inktip.com to see if it gets any hits. Inktip is a decent place to list your scripts, as is winningscripts.com as I've mentioned before. Both sites have gotten me read by numerous producers over the past year. Give it a shot.

Getting close to wrapping up ZUCKER, my latest script. Act 2, as many of you might agree, can be a drag, but not this time. I've actually breezed right through it, loving every damn minute of it.

And Radiohead is coming in August to Philly, which will kick ass. Have a sweet-ass weekend!

10 Verbs!

Ok, this is from the script I'm currently working on (and LOVE working on it, this thing is kicking ass) called ZUCKER. I present to you, my verbs:

Plays
Kiss
Slurping
Sits
Smiles
Swings
Dangles
Puckers
Belches
Blows
Giggles

Oh, that's 11. Interesting. I will now tag Tom Crymes, Dr. Scriptweaver, and Master Robert.

A New Blog In Town

Hey gang, just had a good talk with The Company Who Has Optioned. Good stuff, looking over the contracts tonight.

An old bud of mine has (finally) created a blogsite. His name is Tom Crymes, and his blog is called The Bag Means Your Mind. We went to high school together, got D's in Mrs. Dilworth's class (Ok, I got the D) and truly bonded when we made Eazy Reader, a short film I starred in and Tom directed, co-starring and co-produced by friends we don't talk to anymore. the flick was about Summer reading, and I played a slacker who chose to go to a party instead of doing his summer reading. then, of course, Jason from Friday The 13th (A friend of ours nicknamed "The Boob") chased me with a machete. And when he caught me, instead of killing me he shoved my summer reading book in my face. Classic stuff.
We got an A!

Then we got greedy and made a sequel, Eazy Reader 2. Not so good. Overblown, way too long, but with a higher budget, it went the way of many unnecessary sequels and tanked (within the confines of our High School anyway). there never was an ER3.

Anyhoo, check out his site and welcome him into blogland.

What's the dilly?

So, yes, Cricket Hill is being optioned. In a nutshell, Cricket Hill would be like The Royal Tennenbaums meets American Beauty, or as the Development dude from the company that optioned it puts it: American Beauty on acid.

And it has Voice Over....Ah, run! That was for you, Voice-Over haters.

The paperwork is on its way, so the option will begin shortly. What is an option, Olaf has asked. Basically, for a set amount, this company is buying the rights to Cricket hill for 1 year and in that time they are going to try to put a package together (attach a director, some kick-ass actors, etc) and gain financing. The plan is to get it made independently and get it to Sundance, which they have already done in the past to great success.

It's a good place, this company, I feel very comfortable working with them. They've got a couple features already under their belt (yes, stuff you've actually heard of), and they are going into production on another feature in 2 weeks (starring several well-known actors you've heard of), and it is some of those actors that they'll be approaching for my script.

They asked me if I wanted to direct. And I don't. Not on this one. I've directed 3 features and 5 shorts in my time, all low-low budget and with local actors. With the caliber of talent they're going to get involved on this baby, I become an instant liability. What the hell have I directed, the financers will ask. Nothing of note. And with the type of directors they said that they'll approach with it, they'll bring a lot more to the table. The directors they have relationships with have all had theatrically-released features.

Re-writes? They'll be minor. Touch-ups, basically. Not a Page 1 re-write in the least. A few tweaks here and there, and I've got no problem with that. I'm not going to be re-written, and will be on-set when the time comes.

By the way, thanks for the onslaught of support and congrats. You guys totally rock and I'll be looking forward to some of your upcoming successes!

Optioned!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Cricket Hill has been optioned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doing paperwork next week to make it official.

I'll go into more details soon.

The Company who optioned it totally rocks. Yes, I'm biased of course, but honestly, looking at the movies they've done and at their upcoming slate, I couldn't have found a better home for Cricket Hill.

The New Bond? Yeah, he'll do just fine......

Waiting....

I'm waiting for 6pm, EST. Supposed to get a call discussing what the Production company I wrote of earlier may want to do with my script. could go either way. Keep you posted............... Some hotties while u wait...........(Mandy Moore & Anne Hathaway)

Crackheads are people, too.....Funny People

As a home inspector, we see all kinds of things. Trashed houses, million-dollar mansions, etc.

And the occassional crackhead.

The seller of a dilapitated house yesterday was one I was sure. Hey, I know my crackheads, I've seen COPS enough to pick out a nice white-trash crack addict. Oh, you know, she had one tooth in her mouth (at least she could still use her TOOTHbrush, her skin looked like diarrhea, she layed about watching divorce court, etc.

I could have been wrong, until I heard her and a neighbor that came for a visit chatting about how her crackdealer wouldn't give this waste-of-life any crack because she owed him a hundred bucks - I was under the porch, listened to their whole useless crackhead conversation.

I have no tolerance for garbage like this. Go kill yourselves, please. And don't bitch to me about your fucking addiction - An addiction like this is the sign of a selfish asshole fuckwad. Either go and quit, or just keep on firing up until your useless eyes fall out.

She had kids, too, all the more heartbreaking - 3 boys as it turned out. They weren't home at the time or I would have piled them into my work van and driven them off. I heard they were 18, 16, and 12. Certainly all fucked up, not their fault, but surely to be not the best society has to offer.

There was a light switch in the basement that was tied into an outlet with a broken smoke alarm; when I turned on the switch the alarm would beep beep beep. Kinda loud but nothing major. Crackwhore flipped out upstairs "Oh my God, what's he doing? He's running the smoke alarm! What the hell is that?!" and so on, crack gibberish so I turned it off......and after about ten seconds, in need of a good giggle, I flipped the switch again.

Oh come on, it was funny. And not cruel in the least, I only did it twice more after that.

Again, no tolerance. Addictions are selfish (and weak). And especially a low-rent addiction like crack, I mean get a real hobby like booze or pot, because congratulations lady, you've not only destroyed your own useless life, but your entire family's as well.

And you better be careful or I'll flip that switch again.

The 4 Things Meme Thing

Four Films I Could Watch Again And Again:
Jaws, Saving Private Ryan, Planes Trains & Automobiles, Raising Arizona

Four Places I've Lived:
Pennsauken, NJ
Riverton, NJ
Palmyra, NJ
Collingswood, NJ

So, basically, NJ.

Four jobs:
Paperman (also Newspaper Stuffer)
Ice Cream Scooper
Tower Records & Video Geek
Telemarketing Prick

Four TV Shows I Love:
Arrested Development (RIP)
Lost
Wonder Showzen
Flip This House

Four Places I've Been On Vacation:
Kitty Hawk, NC
Niagra Falls
New Hampshire
Belgrade, Yugoslavia

Four Of My Favourite Foods:
Hamburger
Flounder
General Tso Chicken/Fried Rice
Chicken Fingers

Four Blogs I Visit Every Day:
Alligators On A Helicopter
Adventures in Storytelling
One Slack
Moviequill

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now
In an executive's office, selling a script would be enough.

Four Films I'd Re-write:
Sorceror
Broken Flowers
The new Star Wars Trilogy (it's one long nightmare for me)
Lord Of War

Four Bloggers I'm Tagging
Tom Crymes (Make a frickin' blog dude)
Rob
Tamir
Fun Joel
Bonus pix, enjoy.

More Crickets

Got another e-mail for a Cricket Hill request, again off of WinningScripts, that site is kicking ass for me. I'd recommended it. This one came from an indie producer, and I'll get one right out to him, I'm still waiting on any info/news from the two companies I discussed in my previous post. I should also hear about 2 screenplay contests by the weekend.

And I hate my job.

I Come In Peace..........

"And you go in pieces."

Classic, they just don't make them like that anymore. Anybody remember that gem? It starred Dolph Lungren, man! I was over at Chris Soth's, checking out his post about good/bad titles and it reminded me about that Dolph Classic. The Alien dude is blowing shit up during the preview, saying "I come in peace" and at the end of the trailer Dolph says to him: "And you go in pieces." Perfect.

Another beauty of a title/tagline is for that not-so classic horror flick:
Popcorn - "Buy a bag.....go home in a box." Beautiful!

By the way, I updated my links section.

Quick update, my Cricket Hill script is still hanging around that company I spoke of, I had another good talk with the Development Dude on Friday, this guy is like 1000% behind it and says his people will read it this passing weekend. I hope they do, and let's hope they actually like it! He's actually been hyping it up to them so much, I hope it doesn't disappoint.

Also, since this guy wants to see this made, he's been sending it out to a few of his own contacts and one guy flipped over the 1st 30 pages, said he'll read the rest over this now-passing weekend. Hoping he flips for the rest of it. He said the 1st 30 was "funny as fuck." I pray the rest reads "funny as fuck."

The Guy Who Flipped is actually a manager for a pretty high profile management company, and although I scored a manager in the recent past, I'd go with them in a heartbeat. I like my manager, but he's more of a friend with great contacts and since he works for a HUGE director in town also, doesn't always have the time to go and sell my stuff. As for my agent, well, he blows. When a company chuckles after you mention your agent's name, it's well-past time for a new agent.

Blowin' Chunks

I hate being sick, but far worse than that is when my kids are sick.

I always try to magically suck out their sickness and put it into me, but it never seems to work. My 6.5 year old was sick first, then my 3.5 year old, then me, then the 3.5 year old again (he's sick now, seems to be an upset stomach, etc). Gave him some peach juice, that usually calms their stomachs.

And we've all puked plenty. I started at 4am Saturday morning and puked almost every half hour until 10am. It's funny how helpless one is when they are hugging the porcelain god, their stomach convulsing.

Seems like some sort of stomach bug going around. Damn bugs.

Ok, now I'm pissed......

So I'm flipping through my recent isue of Creative Screenwriting magazine, and I see an ad.

It basically says that if you have writer's block, try hypnosis.

WHAT THE FUCK??!?!!!?!

Are they out of their fucking minds?????

First of all, hypnosis is bullshit - No, please, don't send me any stories about your cousin from Tulsa who was hypnotized once and she clucked like a chicken. Your cousin from Tulsa fell off the potato truck when she was a baby, simple as that.

Here's one problem I have, you're ripping off some poor idiot writer (who's already poor as it is) who thinks they'll be cured of writer's block just by doing this. It's the same BS as smokers (getting hypnotized to quit smoking). If you want to quit, just freakin' quit, if you want to smoke, then smoke!

But not only is it a bullshit waste of money, no, I understand people trying to make a buck, even if it is some hypnotist-asshole. I'd be more pissed at the jackass "writer" who thinks they'll be cured of their writer's block by doing something like this.

Hey fuckwad, you got writer's block? Here's some ideas for you (besides NOT being hypnotized like a douche):

1. Walk around the block.
2. Watch Tv/Web surf
3. Take a nice drive

Or, and this one if my favorites for when I get some writer's block:

THINK HARDER!

United 93

Thoughts on this? Paul Greengrass made a good sequel (Bourne 2) and the awesome Bloody Sunday. But can he pull this off?

Snakes!

Shouldn't we be counting down to this epic?

Write what you know.......?

....unless you want to sell it or have any success with it.

I only say this if you're a first-timer really, eager to break into the scriptwriting world. My college film professor always told us to write what we know. And I did at first. They all sucked. My first 3-4 screenplays were terrible, bad bad bad. Their plots were something about post-college friendship.....ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Bad plot, dialogue, etc. Pointless. All bad, 100%.

But I'm glad I wrote them, it helped me get the "kinks" out. Whatever it is you're writing, if it's your first script, it'll probably suck. Maybe not, but probably. So don't get too attached.

Screenplay competitions and production companies will toss them, the autobiographical stories, that's my opinion, anyway. They're not the ones that win awards or sell for half a mil. But you need to write them.

So, do I write what I know? Well, certainly there's a part of me in my scripts, but I haven't gotten too personal in years.

And out of my successes, did I write what I knew? No.

Option #1 - 1998, a script called GOOD PEOPLE, bascially a small-town comedy.
Option #2 - 2001, it was a comedy involving porn.
Option #3 - 2002, a kids movie you could see Disney or Nick making.

The best situation to have is something like Noah Baumbach's The Squid & The Whale. He didn't write it and put it out there 10 years ago, he did it now, when he was a BETTER WRITER. And I think it really paid off.

What do you do with your 1st screenplay, that just might be about or have a lot to do with your own life? Put it away, move on or if you think it's worth a damn, maybe re-write it after getting extensive feedback. Just don't count on many people taking to it, if you get it in great shape, you might just have to go and shoot it yourself, which might not be a bad thing.

My ultimate advice? Write whatever the hell you want.

And on an unrelated topic, here's Charlize.......

Updates, etc.

I've updated my blog links, so we can all be better linked in this crazy bloggin' thang.

Well, V For Vendetta grabbed the top spot with 26 million, but they said that was behind last year's box office at this time. Does that mean we're going to be running (less $$ per weekend) behind the year where we were running behind?

Ah, Hollywood will survive. I think the Summer will be huge anyways. But I do think V will drop like a stone next weekend.

As for myself, I've gotten back onto my script, ZUCKER, I took off for a few weeks but got juiced about it again and am going to make it my next finished script. Right now I'm into Act 2 and LOVE how fast and smooth Act 1 went.

Then I'll continue working on my real estate comedy (thanks for the title suggestions) as well as a polish of a script I wrote 2 years ago called Surviving Edwards Avenue. and I changed a title of one of my other newer scripts - It was called "Heist Of the Century" now it's called "Wrong Way On A One Way."

Still waiting for April 1st, I'll find out the fates of my scripts that are in 3 contests, so we'll see.

My Development guy is eager for his peers to read my Cricket Hill script, that's where we're at, waiting for them to read it. He still loves it and is supporting it, so we'll see what happens.

A friend of mine sent me Act 1 of his new script, funny stuff. He entered his FIRST screenplay he EVER WROTE with ZERO training/schooling/anything into last year's Fade In contest. And won! (not the grand prize, but was 1st place in his category). Anyway, I wish that bastard the best, and his new script is going well so far. I've got my 3 quarter-finalists in Fade In now, so we'll see if they advance any further.

I'll end with a cool-ass posted for an upcoming Terry Gilliam movie.........

Your Assistance is Requested

Scott did it, and I will now copy him.

I'm writing a script (yeah, a new one, yeah, I'm spread too thin with the scripts I'm writing, too many ideas/half-written stories, what the hell do you want from me??????).

Anyhoo, I need a title. I've got a couple idears for one, but nothing concrete.

The plot is basically this - Real Estate Comedy. Now, I'll list a few I've been kicking around, and I may have an added title on the end like:
"The Life and Death Of A Real Estate Agent" or "The Heinous Yet Justified Murder Of A Real Estate Agent." Ok, too long, but you get the point. So far I've got.........

1. Open House
2. As Is
3. Donkeypunch

Like any of those? Any thoughts? If you give me a good one I'll make you a batch of brownies. A little Naomi Watts to inspire...........

Trash Talkin'

Annie Proulx, co-writer of Brokeback, is pissed. Sure, she's got every right to be, her movie didn't win the Best Picture Oscar, but shut the hell up already.

She's lashing out now. In a British newspaper article she says that the Academy is "out of touch not only with the shifting larger culture and the yeasty ferment that is America these days, but also out of touch with their own segregated city." Oh, get a grip.

She goes on to say that if you want "smart judging based on merit" that we should skip the Academy Awards and watch The Independent Spirit Awards. Oh, because Brokeback won that Best Pic award. What if they gave it The Squid & The Whale? Would they have been out of touch, or simply awarding the movie they thought was better?

Oh, and she refers to Crash as Trash. How creative. She's a writer??

I mean, c'mon, what a sore freaking loser. She's not even a loser since she did go home with an Oscar.

The thing is - A lot of people liked Crash. so they voted for it. Were they right? That's subjective of course, and it is one of the main problems with these awards. When I watch the Oscars, 8 out of 10 times I'll be routing for a movie that doesn't win, but so freakin what? I would have rather seen Good Night & Good Luck beat both anyway.

For her to go off on Crash is ridiculous. How about this - Maybe it got the awards it deserved - Director, Music & Screenplay (that's you Annie).

Now I'm sure people (voters) were turned off by it, as they were by Crash or the other nominees, which is unfair to any movie. But it's not like one voter makes all the decisions, each voter is going to vote for the movie they liked. And I bet good money that the vote was close as hell, since I think Brokeback had a lot of support. But if Annie's right, why would they give it ANY awards? Why would Hoffman win for best actor playing a gay man? Wouldn't they be turned off by him, too?

Annie knows better, one would think, and for her to lash out like this is just sad, lame, and unprofessional.

Hey Annie, does this mean you're going to give your OSCAR back then? Hmm??

Flickmaking Part 3 - Prep!!!

Be Prepared.

Yeah, I've said this before, but do it. And while you're prepping your epic indie flick, go re-write it again. Because it needs it. Trust me. The movies I made (3.5 features, 5 shorts, on either film or DV) could have used another re-write. Would that have made them sell to Miramax at the time? No, my shitty-ass budgets killed me there, but it would have made them better.

A story that comes to mind when I think about my past productions is the one with the most turmoil, the debacle that was West River Drive.

The movie was personal for me, it had a lot of family strife in it that mirrored my life growing up. I felt it was important to make. I was wrong. Not to make it but how I made it.

No prep.

Well, certainly not enough.

I hired a kid (see past posts about how he would not stop looking into the camera once we called "Action!") for the lead who I thought was good enough. I was settling. Rule #1 - Don't settle.

Then I hired a girl to play his neighborhood crush/love interest. Amazing, she was actually, but funny thing is, by the time we went to shoot, this chick had grown several inches and TOWERED over my lead.
Rule #2 - Cast the shit out of your movie.

(They were both around 10 years old.)

I couldn't replace her though, her mother was doing a lot for the production (setting up some locations, etc) and as for the kid, well, I should have dropped his ass but I felt I could work around his quirks. Yeah, I was a dumbass.

So we tried to make it work, but for scheduling reasons we had a nother problem. We had to shoot a pretty big scene first that takes place at a carnival.

The scene of their first kiss. On our first day of shooting.

Yeah.

We stormed the carnival (it was actually called a grange fair) it had all sorts of rides, as well as horsies and monster-jam loving yokels, and shot it guerllia style. Which was all fine and good, except of course, for the kiss.

In the script, it's a magical moment. Life-changing for this kid....and he wouldn't stop looking at the camera. It was a situation where we had to lie and tell him we weren't shooting just to get a half-decent take out of him. Plus when they kissed it looked like 2 doors bonking into each other, absolutely no chemistry.

What was supposed to be an amazing scene ended up as part of a montage, a footnote basically.

We shouldn't have shot the movie. At all.

Another funny tale came later. We were shooting on a neighborhood street in my old hood, when the guy who was playing Grandpa decided to chat with the gathering crowd of kids that were watching. I didn't mind, I was busy with the DP setting up the scene.......until I turn to see Grandpa ATTEMPTING TO BOUNCE ON ONE OF THE KID'S POGO STICKS.

(!)

An old man. On a pogo stick.

Everything seemed to unfold in slo-mo.

It went how you think it would, he got about a bounce-and-a-half off and then down he went, into a tree & curb. Luckily we had a first-aid kit handy to bandage him up....Rule #3 - Don't hire loopy old folks.

I could write a friggin book.