Yeah, I've had a lot of these. A previous post had talked about my actor playing Grandpa in my film, West River Drive (2002), deciding to bounce on a pogo stick in between scene set-ups. It wasn't pretty, but at least he was done shooting that day so the scratches on his forehead from hitting the curb & tree had time to heal.
Not sure if I mentioned in a past post about getting 2 of my main actors together (they played a girl & boy in West River Drive who liked each other and were supposed to share a kiss), problem was she GREW in the month we had seen her last and TOWERED over our boy. It looked utterly ridiculous.
Or the first time I loaded a 16mm film camera (1997), not at school, alone, in a dark closet at my house. Didn't go well. The film had come off its spool and at that moment, the anger/rage/embarrassment/etc was at a peak level. I thought I would literally explode. I eventually got it together and went out to shoot my meaningless student film (it was called The Passenger, and was about a guy who's car broke down, so he started walking.....and walking........and walking.....and walking....)
Or in 1998 when we were shooting a trailer on Super 16mm (for a script I wrote and was to direct called Driftwood) and my brother-in-law, who was carrying the sandwiches on a platter (we had a crew of 25 - yeah, way too many) dropped the platter onto the gravel parking lot. Gravel, ham & cheese, anyone?
This is a good one: In 2001. We were shooting the climax for my movie, Better Days. I was directing & operating the camera. We were filming at a retirement home - no it wasn't about old folks, but the place had an awesome chapel & reception hall and was perfect for our wedding scenes. But on that day, we were behind. A lot. Things were moving too slowly. But we had to be out of the recpetion area by lunch - the old folks had to eat. But we wouldn't be finished in time, not at all, and we simply couldn't afford another day at this place (it wasn't free).
So as I'm trying to film my lead actor run across some tables and land on the dance floor (I was in my wheelchair dolly, trying to smoothly follow him) I had my PAs trying to hold off the incoming old folks (they had wheelchairs, too) so I could get my last few shots in. And then 2nd & 3rd takes. Luckily we were shooitng MOS (no sound) but if we did have sound you'd be able to hear them grumbling around us. They were pissed, yeah, but we made our day.
Rule #1 - Be prepared, including CAST better (or more equally sized)
Rule #2 - Don't let me load your film
Rule #3 - Don't let my bro-in-law carry your food
Rule #4 - Don't piss off the old folks.
Rule #5 - Bring First Aid kit for Pogo-bouncing Grandpas.