Sunday, December 03, 2006

A Piss Poor Logline

I saw this logline on the Movie-bytes website, and it made me wish explosive diarrhea on myself. Here it is, for a script called Operation Longbow, Before 9-11:

"Aborted attempted assassination of a terrorist, in the Sahara by the use of a special sniper rifle called the Longbow. However, most of the story and subtext deals with serial murders in New Orleans during the height of Mardi Gras."

And my reply is - What? C'mon dude. First of all, your title is insanely dumb. 2nd, this logline is complete shit. If you (the writer of this crap) happens across my blog, I hope you're not too offended. I don't mean to make you feel like an asshole, but have you read the logline? It's terrible. All it sounds like to me is a really stupid, shall I say retarded, idea.

I'd hate to read the synopsis, probably make me want to beat Tom Crymes with a shovel.

My point: As most of you (except for Mr. Longbow) are aware, your logline is your first attack on a producer. If it comes across as dopey-sounding as this, do you think they'd really want to read the script? Hello, no. And if they do, well, then you deserve each other.


oneslackmartian said...

ooh, I saw that one there, as well, and cringed. mabye i'm not as bad as i thought . . . or there's just a whole other level of bad that I was not aware of . . . .

Thomas Crymes said...

What's with all this shovel talk?

I think the screenwriter of that logline needs to see the business end of a longbow.

I really enjoy reading loglines like that. I mean I hope the guy figures out what he's doing, but in the mean time that is one less person I have to compete with.

Update: Seems that Uwe Boll has just optioned the story because: "That title is so freakin' cool."

wcdixon said...

Don't criticize without offering an alternative has always been my motto. Not that you have the time or desire to do so Patrick, but what you suggest as an alternative -of course considering the limited info you have of project (and no, this doesn't mean its

Anonymous said...

The Desert and I, Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love This Shi'ite

"Two men enter the Sahara, but only one is leaving. Captain Longbow faces off against al-MekaLekaHi LekaHinyHo. But then disaster raises it's massive head when their girlfriends meet each other and have hot lesbian sex during a Mardi Gras orgy party in New Orleans."

Thomas Crymes said...

I mean, someone had to craft that title and logline.

They didn't just make it up on the spot, and I'll give them the benefit of the doubt that they reread it and reworked it prior to posting.

My best guess is that it is a joke or written by someone completely isolated from human contact.

Patrick J. Rodio said...

WC, if the writer was within earshot, I'd offer an alternative. Or the shovel meant for Tom Crymes.

Yeah, I have limited info on it, but I don't want any more info! I'm so confused by it, I can't make sense of it. But the worst part of it for me is having this in the logline:

"However, most of the story and subtext deals with..."

It's unbearable.

Keep in mind, I'm not Mr. Perfect Logline Dude, but I'd like to think mine make sense.

L.R. Williams said...

I'm no expert on loglines, but the fuck is that? This absolutely makes no sense at all. Tom, I'll do you one better - a firing squad of longbows! What a jackhole!

Brett said...

I disagree that you need to offer a superior alternative when criticiszing.

If someone serves me a shit sandwich, I'm under no obligation to say "ya know, this sucks, but here's a better way to serve shit..."

Sometimes crap is crap, and that's all it ever will be.

I ain't judgin — I'm just sayin', is all.

Thomas Crymes said...

That's about as judgment-free as Brett gets.

wcdixon said...

The Moviequill said...

Did they use a Plot Genarator set to stun?