Monday, September 10, 2007

K.R. 1944-2007

So, my Mom died yesterday at around noon. She had been a heavy smoker most of her life, and had battled horrific emphysema for many years.

(Hey kids - Stop smoking - Yes, it will KILL you. Chew some fucking gum.)

The real tragedy of this was the life she led. I'm won't get into specifics too much (this is a LONG story), but I'll say it involved her deteriorating health (mentally & physically), which began when I was young, at a time when people who suffered from mental health problems were labeled as simply "nuts."

The main thing she suffered from was depression, which I think began as a form of post-partum depression that went un-noticed, then spread into other things as a lack of understanding & frustration from her family basically made her an outcast. Her disintegrating marriage couldn't have helped, either. She had been diagnosed as bi-polar, with psychosis n.s., depression, and schizophrenia.

Yeah, that's a pretty bad hand to be dealt.

Note: When someone is suffering from depression, get them help (!).

I'm sure some relatives attempted to help at first, but it certainly wasn't enough, so it was left up to me. But by the time I got her the help she needed, it was too late really. Like I said, this is a long story, this only scratches the surface.

And even though 90% of childhood was a living hell, I knew that deep down she was still a good person and a loving mother, and I made my peace with her before she died. But seeing her get worse as the days passed was heart-wrenching, and although her passing has hit me like a ton of bricks, I am glad she is finally at peace. The last 30+ years of her life sucked.

She was 63.

17 comments:

Matt said...

I check and read your blog daily, but only comment now and then. I am very sorry for your loss.

Matt

Anonymous said...

Sorry for your loss. RIP.

Fun Joel said...

I'm sorry her life was so tough, and that it made your early life tough as well, and I'm sorry to hear that she has died. My condolences to you, my virtual friend.

Lianne said...

Very sorry for your loss Patrick.

Lucy said...

Words seem so inadequate at a time like this, but they're all we've got, so...

I'm really sorry for your loss - 63 is no age - and for the fact your Mom had such a difficult life which in turn meant you had a difficult childhood. Depression is a terrible disease which has such a stigma attached, even now. I've heard it said over here that if you break your leg, you get sympathy but if your mind is broken people turn their backs or even worse, point the finger of accusation. Your Mom is very lucky to have had such an understanding son. Thinking of you and your family at this difficult time.

The Moviequill said...

Holy shit, Pat... I am really sorry...

japhy99 said...

Sorry for your loss Patrick -- and for the pain your mother went through in her life and you in yours because of her illness. You're right to remember that there was love in there and that now there is peace.

wcdixon said...

Condolences.

Julie O. said...

So sorry, Pat. Sounds like you were a great son to her. Take care of you, now.

Brett said...

Damn.

Claim what peace and comfort works for you, then remember the good and forgive the rest.

best to you

B

Aaron said...

Sorry for your loss, Pat. Take care.

eddie said...

Sorry, Pat. It sounds like you did everything you could for her, and knowing she had the love of her son must have put her at as much peace as possible.

Patrick J. Rodio said...

Thanks, gang.

I do wish I did more, we never had a close relationship, and I regret that. I just needed that "one last" conversation with her, you know?

Again, thanks a ton. You guys rock.

William said...

That's a serious blow and I'm sorry to hear the news. All you can wish for a person in that situation is peace. Again, sorry for your loss.

L.R. Williams said...

Pat, I am so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you & your family.

Grubber said...

Really sorry to hear that Patrick. Hope each day is easier for you.

Sorry for your loss.

sincerely,
Dave.

Ryan Rasmussen said...

My thoughts are with you and your family, Pat.