Friday, January 20, 2006

The Overrated

Garden State - Zach Braff is a super-talent, and I think he's got a great movie inside of him. This is not it. I liked this a lot when I first saw it, but I've seen it since and I cringe at a lot of the "moments." Love the details about the suburbs and all that, and Peter Saarsgard is awesome as usual. Natalie Portman is great, really showing her talents, but she's one of those movie roles that simply don't exist in real life but in the eager, hopeful minds of us screenwriters. Overall, the movie now ranks as pretty good with moments (still a good soundtrack). Zach's character needs to get a grip.

I Heart Huckabees - This movie thinks it's so damn smart. Ugh. I feel like choking every character here. Wahlberg is a stand-out, I liked him a lot in this (he and Schwartzman had the best scenes). Anyway, it's not really as smart as it thinks. Pretentious bullshit. David Russell is another super-talented guy, like he was with Three Kings.

Shakespeare in Love - Good movie. Fun, cute. It beat Saving Private Ryan. HUH?

Gangs Of New York & The Aviator - Scorcese is amazing, no doubt. Here, he's pretty good. So glad these didn't win Best Picture Oscars. But I have to say Scorcese certainly should already have like 3-4 Oscars. But not for these. Both movies have great moments, but for me, don't hold together. Blanchett winning for this? C'mon. Anyway, I'm hoping The Departed kicks major ass.

The Hours - Somebody slap these characters. Actually, slap Julianne Moore's character twice. I understand her internal struggles, but you don't just leave your kid SCREAMING for you on the street. Internal struggle? Get the fuck over it, you're a bad mother. SLAP! SLAP!

A Beautiful Mind - Man, the schizo was hot! Oh, it's just Russell Crowe. I love Ron Howard, but again, he's been much better elsewhere.

Chicago - I don't mind musicals. But I despise this one. Didn't do a thing for me. While I'm on the topic, the Phantom Of the Opera sucked, too, although I wouldn't count it as "overrated" since the critics weren't too kind anyway. But it sucked.

Sin City - Cool visuals, wonderful cast. But it's really a SNOOZE as in ZZzzzzzzzzzz. What a bore. (Taz reminded me of this one, thanks Taz.)

Revenge Of The Sith - God I love Star Wars. Wonderful Trilogy....Before Greedo started shooting first and then the prequels happened. I've already posted thoughts on this mess of a trilogy in recent months' posts, but had to revisit my hatred for it again. Now, each movie has moments: the Darth Maul character & the lightsaber duel of the 1st; pretty neat although very videogame-esque climax in the arena of the 2nd movie, and pieces of the 3rd. Actually, also a stand-out of Clones was the Jango/Obi-Wan brawl in the rain. That was nice. But the rest? Not so much. Mostly boring, uneventful, disappointing, and wretchingly-bad writing. "Bang me like you did by the lake on Naboo." Give me a break.

Oh, and Padme didn't die of being choked by Anakin, no that would have actually made sense. She died of a broken heart. That damn robot actually said that basically she's doing great but she's going to die of a broken heart. She's lost the will to live. Oh, and those 2 beautiful babies you just gave birth to aren't worth it you dramatic, selfish beeyotch? Slap!

Additional thought about A New Hope - Why didn't the Death Star blow through that planet that was "blocking" the moon that the rebel base was on????? It's laser death ray was good enough to smoke Alderaan, not that one?

Thoughts? Reflections? More overrated movies?

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

The Underrated



I hate it when movies I love fall off the radar, and it seems nobody else got to see them or experience them. Or maybe when it was released it just disappeared. I'm listing some of my favorites that didn't get much reception when first released. What are some of yours? Mine include:

Joe Vs. The Volcano: John Patrick Shanley directed, with Tom Hanks & Meg Ryan. Also check out The 'Burbs for another smaller (but excellent) Hanks flick.

Fearless - from my all-time favorite director, Peter Weir. Starring Jeff Bridges, and has just about the best ending of any movie. Ever.

Jacob's Ladder - 1991 Tim Robbins, Ving Rhames. Directed by Adrian Lyne.

Fandango - Kevin Costner, Judd Nelson.

State Of Grace (1990) - Sean Penn, Gary Oldman, Ed Harris, Robin Wright Penn

Grand Canyon (1991) - Kevin Kline, Danny Glover, Steve Martin, Jeremy Sisto - Directed by Lawrence Kasdan

Bodies, Rest & Motion - Tim Roth, Bridget Fonda, Eric Stoltz

Hamburger Hill - Don Cheadle, Steven Weber. A gem of a Vietnam film.

Barton Fink - Coen Brothers.

King Of the Hill - Directed by Steven Soderbergh, starring Adrien Brody, Kathryn Heigl, and Jesse Bradford. Depression-era coming-of-age story.

The Edge - Alec Baldwin, Anthony Hopkins. Writen by David Mamet, directed by Lee Tamahori. Good story, tense adventure.

The Iron Giant - Animated. Wow, what a beautiful movie. Great for kids & adults! Vin Diesel voices the Iron Giant. Directed by Brad "The Incredibles" Bird.

Closet Land - Starring Alan Rickman & Madeline Stowe - And NOBODY else.

Kicking & Screaming - Directed by Noah "The Squid & The Whale" Baumbach.

Fly Away Home - Another nice kids movie, but beautifully shot & directed, with a great score.

Your turn!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Best Picture - of 2006?



Ok, '05 is in the books. What about 2006? Scott The Reader made a nice list of upcoming films for this year, which ones will we be looking at for Oscar/Globes next year?

Perhaps The Departed, with DiCaprio, Nicholson (a shoo-in for best supporting actor I'll bet) and Matt Damon. Maybe they'll throw Scorcese Best Director. Or Flags Of Our Fathers, the Clint-Eastwood-directed WWII epic, produced by Spielberg.

There's always Zodiac, directed by David Fincher, which chronicles the hunt for a serial killer in the 70s. Robert Downey Jr, Mark Ruffalo star. Best Actor for Downey Jr? Hollywood loves a comeback.

Maybe Lady In The Water will get Paul Giamatti a Best Actor Oscar.

Flight 93 is touchy, but it intrigues me more that the Oliver Stone's World Trade Center. Flight 93 comes in April (too early to be remembered by next year's Oscars). Directed by Paul Greengrass.

All The King's Men, certainly a Best Picture candidate with Sean Penn as Best Actor.

How's Smokin' Aces sound, with Ben Affleck, Jeremy Piven, Ryan Reynolds, Andy Garcia and Alicia Keys? Directed by Joe Carnahan (he did the excellent Narc).

The Good German sounds like a Best Picture, with Clooney as Best Actor. Speaking of "good" there's also the DeNiro-directed The Good Shepard, another Matt Damon film.

A dark horse candidate might be Running With Scissors, a dysfunctional family drama (think Family Stone, but good) with Annette Bening (Best Actress). From the creator of Nip/Tuck.

The Brad Pitt Jesse James movie? Probably not a Best Pic candidate. but maybe a supporting actor nod for Sam Rockwell. I love that guy.

Perhaps Johnny Depp will get another nod for Pirates 2.

As for funny, I'll be there for The Break-Up (Vince Vaughn & Jennifer Aniston). Caughn's always reliable for a laugh. Then there's You, Me, And Dupree, with Matt Dillon and Owen Wilson. And the NASCAR comedy with Will Ferrell and Sasha "Borat/Ali G" Cohen.

What about Apocalypto? Mel Gibson's latest? And The Da Vinci Code? Best Picture candidate? Or candidate for 3rd movie to hit $250 million in 06 (after X-Men 3 and Superman).

Southland Tales (with The Rock and Sarah Michelle Gellar) will certainly be cool, but probably not what Oscar is used to.

Marie Antoinette directed by Sofia Coppola? Could go either way. The trailer is intriguing, especially with the New Order music. Nice touch.

I'll be there for The Fountain, also for Thank You For Smoking.

And what about animation Best Picture? There's a boatful of releases coming, narrowing it down to 3 might be hard. We have Ice Age 2 & Cars, likely candidates. Then we have Open Season, Happy Feet, Over The Hedge, Ant Bully, Meet The Robinson's (Disney), and Barnyard. Plus Monster House, which could possibly kick a lot of ass. That's a lot of animation.

Tons of movies. And right now, they all look good. Until they start opening, then the disappointment hits. Happens every year. But it looks like a good year (whoops, that's also the name of a possible Russell Crowe contender). Anyway, it looks promising.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Emilio!

I saw this pic online, it's Elijah Wood & Lindsay Lohan in the Emilio Estevez-directed film called "Bobby." I am intrigued.

According to joblo.com the movie follows several characters in the hours leading up to the assassination of Robert Kennedy at LA's Ambassador Hotel. Bobby apparently also stars Anthony Hopkins, Sharon Stone, Demi Moore, Nick Cannon, and Freddy Rodriguez.

Globes

Eh.

These award thingees get old, quick. Sure, it's nice to see some of the winners win (I like Clooney and was happy he won) but it's like, everyone jumps on these bandwagons and suddenly Phillip Seymour Hoffman HAS to win all the best actor awards. And Heather Ledger or David Strathairn, Viggo Mortenson, Hayden Christenson (JESUS CHRST, I'm KIDDING) etc, are left with nothing. It's silly to allow ONE winner. And although I enjoy seeing Clooney win, that means Matt Dillon (a revelation in CRASH) gets, well, nothing?

Out of all the movies, and after all the screeners and marketing (for those companies that can afford to remind people of the movies they released) goes out into Variety, etc, we have decided to agree that Phillp Seymour Hoffman is worthy, and the others sucked balls.


Guy Who Makes Sense: What about Bill Murray in Broken Flowers? Can we vote for him?

Hollywood: No, no, they released that movie a long time ago.

Guy Who Makes Sense: It was 2005 though, right?

Hollywood: Yeah, but we've decided not to think back that far. We're gonna give it to Seymour Hoffman this year. It's just easier that way.

Guy Who Makes Sense: He's got my vote!


And Ang Lee is the best DIRECTOR OF THE YEAR (well, he HAS to win Oscar, right, because he won the other awards), while the hacks that directed Munich, Gardener, Jarhead, Kong, Good Night, etc, get to go home holding their cocks.

Now, am I saying Seymour Hoff doesn't deserve his kudos? No, of course he does. And Ang Lee is a terrific director (should have won for The Ice Storm, too). I just don't agree with dismissing the others.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Quotes

Okay, took me a day but I'll post a follow-up to Scott The Reader's idea of sharing our favorite lines. I've got a few, and these are just from skimming, because aren't all of our lines our favorites?

By the way, some of the following may be offensive. Proceed with caution.
If you're offended, I do apologize.

From THE RAVE AT DANNY CARTER'S HOUSE:

LEM
The thong is like an arrow. “Ass-crack due South!”
Or this exchange:
DANNY
Hey, Krista. I was just eating this pretzel. Well, I hadn’t actually started the pretzel yet, but I was going to. I did have a little chunk of pretzel salt, and I liked that so I’m assuming that I’ll like the pretzel as well. How do you feel about this topic?
KRISTA
Salt?
DANNY
Or pretzels. You choose.
From THE SCENIC ROUTE:
JIMMY
Or we can hit the China massage. You know you’re a sucker for those Asian gals. But you gotta tip them this time, buddy. They get pissed, and rightly so, when you skip the tip after they do all that work.
PJ
I’m a good tipper.
JIMMY
Twenty bucks is a slap in the face.
And this:
JIMMY
Dude, I’m just trying to save you fifteen years in an empty marriage that’ll end with you going on a kill-crazy rampage through a shopping mall at Christmas, gunning down everything in sight. You’d probably even take out Santa Claus you sick, twisted bastard.
WYATT
I wouldn’t kill Santa.
From HEADSHOT:
WHEELER
Fuck it. We’re only having sandwiches anyway.
BITCH
No pizza?
WHEELER
Sandwiches only, Bitch. And if you’re good, you can have some mayonnaise on yours. And if you’re super-good, you can get a bag of chips.
BITCH
Barbecue?
WHEELER
Don’t fucking push it.
And this:
WHEELER
So I’m telling this motherfucker: “You either throw in that money, okay? Or I’ll piss right in your daughter’s face.”
GAVIN
And thus we had our budget for our first film.
And this:
STAN
It’s horrible, I know. But it didn’t used to be so sex-drenched before Wheeler got a hold of it. There was less coke-snorting and masturbation. But what the hell, it’s getting made, right?
This is from WHITE GOLD:
RANDY
Alright, Trip is on diarrhea watch.
And this:
PUNCH
It’s kinda like Forest Gump meets Titanic.
RANDY
Is it about a boat full of retards?
And this:
RANDY
If she takes off her shirt and shows us those headlights, we all win!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Flickmaking

I've been thinking on my past movie-making experiences lately and thought I'd share. Maybe some of you out there that are embarking on making a feature or short can think about some of this stuff. To some of you out there, this may be all old news.

But if you can take away something from reading this, maybe it'll prevent you from wasting your time & money (equivalent to being fucked with a sandpaper condom). Or at least help you waste your time and money bettter.

I've made 3.5 features from my own scripts. Directed and produced them all. And 4 shorts. Some of them have their moments, but overall, I don't have much to show. Why? Low, pitiful budgets mainly. There are other reasons.......

1. Actors. Cast well, this seems obvious. But it can be hard. In my situations, everyone was working deferred, so I'm only providing food, a credit, and a copy of the film. Thus, you won't get the best actors in the world (there are some gems out there though if you look).

My problem on past productions was settling. One of the biggest things I've directed (budget $8,000) was almost a complete failure because of (well, the budget for one) and my cast. Now, I had some good actors in there, but there are others that I KNOW I should have re-cast. But I didn't and the movie suffered for it. Read a review of it. It's called Better Days.

2. Crew. Same as casting sort-of. Got a bunch of local PA's, etc for deferred payment. For the most part I've been happy with my crews, except for the occassional nutjob. But take care of them, and they'll take care of you.

3. Location, Location, Location. I've gotten a ton of locations for free, either restaurants, houses, etc. Been pretty lucky with this. Except for one time, when I did not scout a location ahead of time. My fault, yes. But all I needed was a backyard for a bbq scene, didn't care what the house looked like. A mother of one of my actors had a friend who said we can use their house for the shoot. Great! She described it, the yard, I was ready to roll, baby! (I lived an hour away from this location, if it was closer I would have had the time to scope it out).

Had the cast and crew meet early in the morning for the shoot. Then I got there. She didn't mention that the backyard backed-up to Route 1, which if you're from the Philly area, or even if not, you can imagine what the SOUND would be like near a place called ROUTE FUCKING ONE. I was beside myself with stupidity and a lack of planning. I canceled the shoot for that day, drove home, curled into a fetal position, and pissed all over myself.

4. $. Get some money. My problem with many of my attempts was a lack of budget. And it shows. But unless you have some novel idea (you don't) you simply can not make a movie on a shoe-string budget and expect it to go anywhere. Sure, you'll have a screening for it, and your family and friends will show up and congratulate you. But they won't distribute it.

5. REHEARSE YOUR ACTORS. We rehearsed. But not nearly enough. If I ever made a movie again, and for me to do so would take a large does of crank, I'd spend months rehearsing. Again, it's obvious, but sometimes with people's schedules, budgets, time, etc, it's not possible. Make it possible. Make it work.

I cast this kid in a movie I directed called West River Drive. Gave a good audition, and I thought he had a good look. You're hired! Probl;em was, when we started shooting, he would NOT STOP LOOKING AT THE CAMERA. Everytime we shot with him, I wanted to kill myself. And since he was practically the lead, suicide was often on my mind. I've made plenty of bad decisions, that was one of my worst.

Movies I've done and why they failed:
STAIN (feature) - Movie about a hustler on the streets of Philly. Budget killed us on this, 90% of the cast was great. Low-point was trying to pull of a dying man (he was shot off-screen). Just didn't work. We hired a terrific actress (Charis Michelson) to play a hooker. She had a small speaking role in Bringing Out The Dead. She was amazing, should have made the movie about her character. Also, the movie should have been edgier. I didn't push the envelope.

BETTER DAYS (feature) - Read the review above for the plot. The critic is right. Budget and piss-poor acting killed us, plus the script needed another draft before going into production.

WEST RIVER DRIVE (feature) - Budget and a lack of proper planning sank us. Considering, it's not a bad movie, it has some good shots and a few decent scenes. We held a screening a few years ago at Mike Lemon Casting and it (surprisingly) got a great response. Even for the kid that I was complaining about earlier. Editing saved his ass.

The DISINTEGRATION OF A BOY BAND - I liked this short. It was about 32 mins long. But by the time we got it edited and it came out, people were already making fun of boy bands, and it looked like we were the last ones on the bandwagon. Still a decent short (it ends with a record exec telling them their band is being dismantled because grunge is coming back in style). Then we see "where they are now" - One is a lunatic in a forest, one is picking up trash from the streets, , one is a crackhead, etc. You get the picture. It ws funny. But too late.

The Family Dog - Shot on Super 16mm. And a success, sort of. Cost about 3 grand to make. We made about 4 grand back (it was on ifilm.com and hypnotic.com (Hypnotic would pay money to the top-viewed shorts and The Family Dog was on top for a few months)). It was about a guy who went to meet a girl's parents and her dysfunctional family. Right, so you can see why I couldn't do much with it - Meet The Parents arrived, although we made ours in 1999. Not like they ripped us off, but there was a toilet-backing-up scene, a pissed off sibling, a nervous guy about to meet the parents......Hmmm.

WAIT A MINUTE - the last thing I worked on, 2 years ago. Was going to be a feature, I stopped it. It was going to go nowhere. The shoot was kicking ass, the actors were great, rehearsed, etc. The script was good. And we had some killer scenes. Still no budget. Which is why I killed it (I'm actually (finally) getting my trailer presentation for it in the next week; I'll give them out to the cast). I may use it to show around and try to get some cash to start production again and do it all right.

I'm not bitter. Making these movies were some of the best times I've had.

*But TAKE YOUR TIME. I've always rushed and never will again. Don't rush.

*Get a budget, please.

*Sometimes, it's a better idea to just make a brilliant trailer. Then shop it around, screen it, have presentations with free food & drink, and maybe you can raise some real money.

*Also, HAVE A PLAN, for after production. I thought I did. But the plans were never good enough. Screen the shit out of it. Hit the festivals, competitions, etc.

*CAST it like your life depended on it. Why? Because it does. If your actor isn't working, REPLACE THEM. And rehearse them. A lot. Afraid you'll burn them out? Burn them out. At least they'll know their fucking lines.

*Re-write your script. You think it's ready? It's not.

That's about it in a nutshell. I'll make another movie. Loved doing it too much not to. But I will not repeat those mistakes. Well, I'll try not to. I make no promises.

On the bright side, if I ever am offered the chance to direct with some kind of million dollar budget, I'd like to say my rookie mistakes are behind me.

Oh, and I almost forgot one of the most important things to remember when you're making your flick - You're doing it because you love it and you can't live without doing it. So, do it. Just, do it right.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Rad Soundtraxxx

I love soundtracks, so I decided to make a list of my favorites. A lot of these I can just play while I'm writing, helps get the juices flowing. Most of them are orchestral, but a few are song-based (you'll know them when you see them).

What are some of your favorites?

Mine:
*The Empire Of The Sun - In my opinion, John Williams' finest
*Glory, Field Of Dreams, Aliens - James Horner kicks ass on these.
*Gattaca - Michael Nyman - Gorgeous.
*The Third Man
*White Squall - Perfect music for this underrated Jeff Bridges movie.
*The Shawshank Redemption - Thomas Newman (Actually his score for Little Women is also quite good)
*And now for Carter Burwell - Fargo, Barton Fink, Miller's Crossing. The Hudsucker Proxy - He nails all of these. And his music for the HBO film And The Band Played On is amazing.
*The Thin Red Line - Beautiful score, now if only Malick would lay off the 'shrooms and cut a half hour as well as the often ridiculous voice-over, he's have a perfect war film.
*And now for some Ennio Morricone - The Mission (perfection), The Untouchables, and State Of Grace (1990 Sean Penn/Gary Oldman crime drama; very underrated).
*Batman, Batman Returns - Danny Elfman is great here.
*The Piano
*Dances With Wolves
*Slingblade - Hmmm Mmmm.
*The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy
*Close Encounters - John Williams, classic. Also kicks ass on Saving Private Ryan & E.T.
*Unforgiven, A Perfect World, Mystic River
*Heat - Bascially Moby songs, but perfectly placed.
*The Last Of The Mohicans - I can listen to this one all day.
*Backdraft - So-so movie, but the music ROCKS!
*Shadowlands
*Great Expectations
*Grand Canyon
*Hoffa
*Portait Of A Lady
*Gallipoli, Fearless - Peter Weir likes to use "known" pieces of music a lot as he does in these amazing movies. But he always uses them carefully, and his selection at the end of Fearless made an already Damn Fine Movie into an incredible experience with possibly THE GREATEST ENDING OF A MOVIE EVER.
*Witness - Peter Weir's genius is showing again - Maurice Jarre creats a classic scene with his music over the barn-building sequence.
*The Royal Tenebaums
*Pulp Fiction
*Magnolia - 2 Words - Aimee Mann
*Clueless
*The Graduate
*Go
*Trainspotting
*John Carpenter's The Thing - Simple, perfectly understated, and creepy as hell.

*This year, stand-outs so far are King Kong, Jarhead and Munich.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I done been tagged!

Earliest film-related memory:
Went to see Close Encounters at the Cherry Hill Mall Eric Movie Theater with my Grandparents. I was 5 at the time; the movie scared the bejesus out of me, I freaked, we they had to take me home - I never made it past the scenes when the boy is at home with all the appliances start going haywire. Eventually I watched it again. Currently one of my faves.

Runners Up Memories:

Saw all 3 original (good) Star Wars movies in the theaters. I've always said these movies inspired me but not how you'd think - It inspired me to purchase and and all Star Wars figures.

Also, at a young age, I saw Gallipoli (my fave film of all-time) on an old cable channel called Prism. AMAZING movie, it totally blew me away (I was probably 12 when I saw it but it stuck with me. THIS is the movie that inspired me to want to make movies. If I can make something half as good as Gallipoli, I'll be able to die happy.

TWO (2) favorite lines from movies: (this is a tough one, there's so many great lines).

TWO (2) favorite lines from movies:

"Give 'em hell, 54!" Glory

"I'll be taking these Huggies, and any cash you got." Raising Arizona

(Also from Raising Arizona: One of my favorite bits of dialgoue:

"Three years for a healthy white baby? What else you got? They said they got three Koreans, and a Negro born with his heart on the outside. Craaazy world!"

"Someone outta sell tickets."

"I'd buy one!"

And also:

"Gotta go to work" Jaws
"Could you describe the ruckuss?" The Breakfast Club
"He's more machine now than man. Twisted and evil." Jedi
"You know.....for kids!!" The Hudsucker Proxy

THREE (3) jobs you'd do if you could not work in the biz"
Architect, Teacher, Oceanographer

FOUR (4) jobs you actually have held outside the industry:
1. Teacher Assistant
2. Newspaper Stuffer
3. Haagen Dazs Scooper
4. Tower Records & Video employee

THREE (3) book authors I like:
1. Robert McCammon
2. Stephen King
3. R.A. Salvatore

TWO (2) movies you'd like to remake or properties you'd like to adapt:
Books:
1. Draglonlance
2. Night (by Elie Wiesel)
Movies:
1. Sorceror - Late 70s Movie by William Freidkin starring Roy Schnieder
2. The current Star Wars Trilogy (I'd go back and add, oh I don't know, a better story).

ONE (1) screenwriter you think is underrated:
Me.

I shall tag (if they haven't already been tagged) Writergurl, Robert Hogan, and Alligators On A Helicopter.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Bowels

I had one of those experiences today, when you're doing your typical day-job bullshit and it hits you - "Dammit, I really wish I'd sell a script so I can stop doing this lame-ass job thang."

My epiphany usually comes when I'm under a house (I'm a home inspector) crawling around in the mud/dirt/water with camel crickets (picture a cricket, only real pissed-off) staring me down as I pull spider webs out of my hair.

Thus, the bowels of the home, as I call the crawlspace.

Good thing is it gives me a good kick in the ass and I come home and want to write the shit out of whatever script I'm working on........

Saturday, January 07, 2006

The Scenic Route

Since my last debacle of a post (the lame-ass comments have been deleted, please stay on-topic) I wanted to lighten the mood a bit and post an excerpt from my recent script called The Scenic Route.

In a nutshell: When Wyatt becomes engaged to his controlling fiance, his childhood camp buddies kidnap him and drag him onto a road trip to show him the life he's soon going to miss.

This script has no voice-over except for the introduction (a narrator has a small VO talking about camp. The beginning of the script shows the friends (PJ, Wyatt, Jimmy and Meatball) at camp (after these scenes we jump ahead to present day). The following picks up at about page 2, as the 4 friends are in the middle of a relay race...............

EXT. CAMPGROUNDS/RUNNING TRAIL
Wyatt is in the lead, and hands the relay stick off to PJ. PJ takes it and runs.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Teamwork is essential in creating the tools that will enable us to build lasting friendships and strong bonds.

EXT. CAMPGROUNDS/RUNNING TRAIL
PJ still leads and approaches Jimmy. Jimmy grabs the relay stick and sprints down the path. After about twenty feet he stops, out of breath.

JIMMY
Oh, man. Fuck this. Phew!

PJ is livid, jumping up and down as other Runners start to pass.

PJ
Run, Jimmy! We’re in the lead!

Jimmy waves at him for acknowledgement, then continues down the path - walking.

JIMMY
I’m good, just gotta walk it off.
(points to his side)
Got a cramp, man. Ouch!

EXT. CAMPGROUNDS/RUNNING TRAIL
Meatball waits for a sign of Jimmy. The other Runners pass him and chuckle. Jimmy finally emerges from the path.

MEATBALL
Jimmy, what the hell?
JIMMY
I’m not a runner, what can I say.

Meatball runs over to Jimmy and grabs the relay stick and takes off running down the remainder of the trail.

JIMMY
Hurry up, Meatball! We still got a chance!

EXT. CAMPGROUNDS/RUNNING TRAIL/FINISH LINE
Meatball runs toward the finish line, dead last. The other Runners are done, and are already walking away from the area.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And it doesn’t matter, win or lose. What matters most is that you tried your hardest. Gave it your best shot.

Meatball crosses the finish line, pissed.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Unless, of course, you’re dead fucking last.

EXT. CAMPGROUNDS - DAY
Jimmy, PJ, Wyatt, and Meatball walk together through the campgrounds.

WYATT
Damn, Jimmy. After that rad lead we gave you? How could you, man?
JIMMY
Heart just wasn’t in it, boys.
PJ
You are unbelievable!

JIMMY
How about I shit in my hand and throw it at you?

They blow him off and walk a bit further.

MEATBALL
I can’t believe this is our last year here.
JIMMY
You getting all sensitive on us, Meat? You gonna be like that Indian dude on the TV on the side of the highway, a single tear rolling down his cheek?
MEATBALL
We ruined his land.
JIMMY
He was on the side of a highway! What does he expect? Flowers?
MEATBALL
I don’t know, but I bet he would have at least tried to win the relay race.
JIMMY
Ah, you got me there. I think we’ve outgrown relay races and obstacle courses. I mean, we’re sixteen and still in Summer god damn camp.
PJ
Who cares?

JIMMY
I cares.
WYATT
C’mon, we all love it. If we weren’t here, we’d just be back home, getting spit on by Joe Mellwig.
JIMMY
Who’s Joe Mellwig?
WYATT
Just some bully from my neighborhood.
JIMMY
Kick his ass.
WYATT
He’s bigger. Taller. Wider. And he spits.
JIMMY
Well, the chicks back at my school ain’t gonna ride this bus if they know I still go to camp.
MEATBALL
Ain’t you learning about life here?

JIMMY
I’ve learned how to tie six hundred different knots. I was happy after I learned how to double-knot the shoelaces.
PJ
The double-knot does come in handy.

Meatball looks down at his own shoes - Both untied.

MR. TROY, 50s, rolls after them in his wheelchair.

MR. TROY
Dead fucking last I hear.

Friday, January 06, 2006

To V.O. or not V.O....That be the question.

I'm going to say something crazy. Yeah, it's nuts. "Loco," if you speak Spanish. As in, "the cabasa!" Are we ready.......? Okay, take a breath.....Open your eyes and..........

3.....
2.....
1.....


It's okay to use Voice-Over.


AH! Run for your lives! Go! Go! Go! Women and Children first! Unless they're too slow!!!

Oh, stop. It's okay. I'm joshing. no need to panic. When I posted my last post, Robert Hogan brought up a good point with a good question. Why go with Voice-Over? And although I had a pretty easy reply, he brought up a great issue. Voice-Overs. Some people just don't like them. And Robert, or Bobby H as I like to call him, got me thinking......

I view it as a personal thing. some people like Cocoa Krispies but some others may like Cocoa Pebbles. The point? Both are correct. It's a matter of taste.

Personally, I don't mind voice-overs. Usually. I'm sure some writers use (or over-use) them as a crutch, a cheat. But not always.

Where would The Shawshank Redemption be without Red's elegant voice? Did Frank Darabont cheat? Nope. It only made his take on the story better. Were the Coen Brothers hacks to use H.I.'s voice-over for Raising Arizona? Hell, no. And Nicholas Pilleggi for Goodfellas. I love that voice-over. American Beauty is another example of when it all goes right. Platoon is another.

Can it be over-used? Yup. Like Casino. Or Sin City. Yeah, yeah, I know I just pissed off many a film geek by saying that, but although I understand they were trying to capture the graphic novel, that voice-over bored the living shit out of me. Was Sin City visually stunning? Absolutely, but it made me want to snooze.

If you're using it, it can't sound like we're HEARING a book read to us, you know? But if the writer is guiding us through the tale, enhancing the story, that's fine by me.

Here's how I like to use it. It's been more of the Raising Arizona approach for me. Enhancing the funny stuff that's going on in the story. It almost becomes another character. Could we have followed the story of Raising Arizona without the VO? Sure, but it's simply funnier with it. Which is how I like to use it.

I wrote a script called "Cricket Hill" that came in the top 3 of the Austin Film Festival back in '03 that used VO pretty heavily. In that situation, was it terribly necessary to follow the story? No. It could have survived without it. But it was better with it. I think if it's used correctly, you can really bring out more in a script. And some stories are certainly more "voice-over worthy."

I've written probably 40 scripts in my life. A good amount came in the dark ages when I wasn't terribly good at this stuff, so I wouldn't list all of those on my resume. Barely half really. But of the 40, I'd say I've used voice-overs about 8 times.

Last time I used it in a completed script was "Doing It Sideways", my epic coming-of-age/porn tale, which I wrote over a year ago. Everything else I wrote in the last year hasn't used it, but I do have 2 scripts in my handful of about 5 that I'd like to work on this coming year that I will use it on.

So if you think your story benefits from it, I say go with it. It's okay. Don't DEPEND on it, but if it's going to make the script/movie better, and you're not using it to basically SAY EXACTLY what the character is thinking, then run with it.

The following is a small excerpt from "Doing It Sideways". In a nutshell, we're learning about the life of a kid who will grow up to be a porn star:

Young Joshua continues down the hallway. He hears movement come from behind another door, and approaches it.

JOSHUA (V.O.)
I always looked forward to Christmas. But that year, my parents were celebrating early.
DAD BOLT’S VOICE (O.S.)
(from behind door)
Well, now. Ho, ho, ho!

Young Joshua opens the door. Inside are Mom and Dad Bolt on their bed, in the middle of hard-core sex. Dad Bolt wears a Santa hat and has his red Santa pants around his ankles.

Now, having the boy walk into the room without any VO, I think it loses something. I feel the scene is enhanced with the VO. Again, I'm not using it to relate exactly how Joshua feels or thinks, but bascially to help build a visual punchline. Or here........

INT. AIRPLANE - DAY
Young Joshua approaches the bathrooms.

JOSHUA (V.O.)
I didn’t know what was ahead for us, for our family. Things were changing. And for me, the change began the moment I opened that bathroom door.

He turns the handle and opens it. Inside are a DASHING CO-PILOT and a HOT FLIGHT ATTENDANT - having some pretty wild sex against the sink of the small bathroom.

DASHING CO-PILOT
(between thrusts)
Who’s your pilot? Who’s your pilot?

They stop in mid-groan and look at Young Joshua.

HOT FLIGHT ATTENDANT
Whoa.
DASHING CO-PILOT
Hey kid, take a picture, it’ll last longer!

Young Joshua takes a small, disposable camera from his pocket and CLICKS a picture.

Again, it's used as enhancement, and to back up an event that would stick with any person in that situation.

So, voice-overs. Use them if you want. We won't shoot you. And you are not a bad writer if you used them. Not at all. Many of the greats have used them.

But make them work.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

The New Year

Been tough getting going this year with writing. I wrote the shit out of last year, I wrote The Rave At Danny Carter's House, The Scenic Route, Tourniquet, and Headshot and did some big re-writes of some older scripts. I think I was fried by the end of the year, so I've been going back, tweaking a few older scripts here and there over the last week or two. I love a good tweak.

But the surge is returning. I've got a few on my plate that I'm going to get going, the already posted The Nine Lives Of Dalt Stickle, and a few more comedies - One is called Retail Messiahs, and the other, which I will post the brief opening scene of below, is called Kill Whitey. Again, it's brief, but it gives you a good idea of the tone...............

FADE IN:
EXT. LAKE - DAY
The sun shines. The sky blues. The day is perfect...except for a rusted, pale green beast of a car forged in the 70s that sits partially submerged in the lake.

ZAK (V.O.)
It was hot as balls the day Whitey Gimmler was found dead in his piece of shit car half-sunk in Silver Lake.

A JET SKIER speeds along and nails the car, zooming up and over it, and landing many yards away with a small splash.

JET SKIER
YAHOOO!!!!

The Jet Skier zooms across the lake.

MUNICH

Great film. I'd say Spielberg is at his peak. But it's like the guy has more than 1 peak.

Daniel Craig, Eric Bana - awesome. I hope Craig kicks ass as Bond, seems like a waste of his talents. Cinematography was perfect. And some of the sequences astound. It's good to see Spielberg in this genre.

Now, is it something I'll ever see again? Maybe when it first comes out on DVD, but it's not like The Shawshank Redemption, Glory or Field Of Dreams, Saving Private Ryan or Jaws, movies I can watch from whichever scene to the end.

But it brings up amazing points and ties it into present day events.

I mean, why wouldn't they want revenge for Munich? Why wouldn't we want to avenge 9/11? But what does it bring us? Just more bloodshed. And more "replacements" to the terrorists that we killed in our vengenance. And maybe the replacement are even worse than who we killed. But we can't just let these massacres slide either. We can't sit idle while people fly planes into us. Or kill more innocents. Just a real screwed up situation we have.

And now we're down 2000+ troops for a nonsensical war in Iraq. I'm certainly not gonna get political here, but Munich will make you think about these things, and we should be thinking about them. Plus, it makes you really pissed off that some crazy lady is honking her horn in the middle of the street while you're trying to do a good deed.............

Impatient Beeyotch

Warning: Some salty language to follow.........

Okay, so The Purple Heart comes by today, we've got like 20 bags of clothes to donate. The man pulls up, nice guy probably in his 50s, and he starts loading our donation. I help him out since it's a lot of bags.

Then this woman (let's call her Impatient Bitch), I'd say in her 40s, nice car, pulls behind his truck (it was blocking our small street) and immediately leans on her horn. So I give her a "one-minute" signal and throw a few more bags on and she honks again, and I motion for her to drive around the block. Impatient Bitch says "Why should I have to go around the block?" And I'm like we're just loading a donation and she mumbles and I tell her we'll be done in two minutes.

Then Impatient Bitch said well how long and I'm like TWO MINUTES. I mean, what the fuck? And she's complaining and saying well is it gonna be 2 minutes or is it gonna be right now? I was tempted to tell her to suck not just one but BOTH of my balls, but I resisted.

It's not like we were in the middle of the street playing hockey, we were loading a donation, gifts for down-and-out people basically, and this bitch, who I KNOW had nowhere important to be, is breaking my balls. If it was me, and it was that important or life-threatening, I would have done a K-turn and driven around the block which would have taken no more than 30s seconds, and that's if you're inspired to stop at the stop sign. I told the Purple Heart guy (obviously and rightly-so annoyed at her) not to worry about her and we finished up, shook hands, ignored Impatient Bitch, and made like Journey and went our separate ways.

My point? The truck blocked the street for no more than 2 minutes, and she had no right to start going off. She looked like a Realtor, the scums I see and deal with every day. Okay, not all realtors are bad. But most are.

People need to get a grip, man. There's a lot of bad shit out in the world, you know? Important shit - Wars, Racism, and Mother Nature's kicking the shit out of us. Point is, she could have patiently waited for the 2 minutes.

Saturday, December 31, 2005

John August

I saw John today, in Cherry Hill, NJ. He was buying the house I inspected. Never thought he'd relocate to NJ. Or Cherry Hill, NJ, for that matter.

Okay, you got me, it wasn't really John, but looked JUST LIKE HIM! I swear.

Anyway, I thought it was funny. It seems like there's dopplegangers of everyone out in the world (or separated-at-birth kind of people).

Weird, pretty pointless post, but I thought I'd share. Now I gotta get back to work on my script so I can sell something in '06 and not be a home inspector anymore.

2K6!

Happy New Year, everyone.

Glad I jumped on the bloggin' bandwagon and look forward to reading all your blogs/thoughts/etc into 2006 and beyond.

Now let's sell some scripts, dammit!

Thursday, December 29, 2005

New Script Opening Scene

Here's the opening of a new script I've started working on. It's called The Nine Lives Of Dalt Stickle. I'm gonna send out page 1 to that Page One contest, see what happens......


FADE IN:
EXT. SMALL TOWN STREET - DAY

DALT STICKLE, a boy around 6, walks down the street nursing a melting ice cream cone. He tries to lick it as it melts all over his hands.He steps off the curb to cross the street, his gaze never leaving the messy cone.A CAR HORN BLARES at him as a rusted-beast of a car barrels at him.

DALT’S DAD, mid 30s, blue-collar, grabs him and pulls him back onto the sidewalk as the car speeds by and zooms off.

DALT’S DAD
Holy-Jesus-loving-Christ! What ails you, Dalt? Huh? You trying to get yourself killed?
DALT
No, I was.....
DALT’S DAD
That car woulda dragged your skin-and-bones down the street, your face scraping against the god-damn road the whole way!
DALT
My face?
DALT’S DAD
Peel it clean off it would!
DALT
But Dad......!
DALT’S DAD
Don’t “But Dad” my ass. Staring at that mess of an ice cream cone like it was the holy-god-damn-grail.
DALT
But I like vanilla.
DALT’S DAD
Well, vanilla almost got you killed.

Dalt’s Dad walks off ahead of him. Dalt follows, tossing the cone away.

DALT (V.O.)
When you’re a kid you think you’re invincible. And then life takes a shit on you.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

My Muse-ic

Most of my story ideas/dialogue/scenes, etc come while I'm driving down the road, music blasting. Here's a list of music I had going most of the time over the last year that has helped inspire me in my screenplays throughout '05.......

Arcade Fire - Funeral (mind-blowingly awesome album, get it now)
Interpol - Antics (an '04 release but I just can't get enough of it)
Nada Surf - The Weight Is A Gift
Coldplay - X & Y (some great stuff on here, but not as good as A Rush Of Blood To The Head).
Doves - Some Cities
New Order & Depeche Mode - Old School bands that came out with surprisingly good, vital albums.
Moby - Always sounds good in the CD player.

I'l always have a warm place in my heart for U2, but I haven't even got their last album yet. Just haven't got around to it. Love them to death, and live there's nothing quite like them, but their last album or so has gotten pretty generic (although still 1,000,000,000 better than most crap on the radio). Still, love to hear another Joshua Tree form them.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Kong is my boo

King Kong..........Wow.

***Numerous spoilage throughout - Go see it, then come back.

Anyways, so yeah, I loved that damn sonofabitch. A perfect movie? No, I didn't say that but there's not many I'd say that about. Certainly up at the top of my list for 2005 (along with Jarhead).

I'll admit, when I heard it was 3 hrs, I was like, "oh, c'mon Petey Jackson. Is it really necessary?"

It did not feel like 3 hours. It simply didn't. Now, could he have trimmed some fat? Sure, but when you think back to some of the earlier scenes, a lot of it was character-building stuff instead of just pointless drivel.

One thing I liked was the relationship between the Shipmate and Billy Elliot. I didn't think it was pointless at all, plus it didn't take up much screen time. It added something to these characters (also some of the other ship crew that we got to know). At least they had some CHARACTER instead of just walking targets. I liked what they did with the Lead Actor guy (I forget his name, he was in a fun show called Early Edition a few years back).

Didn't mind Jack Black, I thought he was pretty good as the obsessive (and very desperate) director. Colin Hanks was decent as his assistant.

Loved Watts, and Brody was great, too. Having him, the writer, down in the cages as his "room" was a nice touch.

NYC wowed me, it was amazing. Peter really nailed it right from the start.

The Ship crashing scene was quite a ride. And those Natives were just plain freaky as shit. Nightmare material, all of them, and that main freak-of-a-woman who kept yelling "Konga!" was nasty. The spider/weta/crickets/roach fight was horrible - In an amazing way. Yuck, man, that was like every nightmare I could have had all rolled into one scene.

All the dino stuff ruled. One of the fav parts was the stampede, although I've heard a few bitch about it. Believable? Well, yeah, cause it's a friggin' fun adventure movie about a giant ape, so I can take a dino stampede. I mean, some of the crew got crushed, you want to kill the leads, too? C'mon, people. You're not going to a movie called King Kong to see how realistic it is. But I loved when Billy Elliot (Just remembered his name was Jimmy in the movie) was dashing along the disintergrating cliff.

Now, his character was built-up a lot, and he did disappear after the island. But really, what can you do with him? Have him in NYC? The kid wanted to be on that boat, and that's likely where he stayed, although it would have been nice to get him in there at some point. Maybe he did get off the boat as the Shipmate told him to do (his life wasn't on the boat, he told him). Maybe have him stuggling in NY, then runs out and gets involved in the Kong stuff. But at that point you're already 2+ hours in and it starts to drag the movie down. I bet Jackson had it in there at some point but it had to go due to the already-long running time.

The climax was astounding. Central Park was beautiful, Kong having fun on the ice was really sweet. Walking slowly down the NY street was a nice touch. But since I knew what was coming, it made the scenes all the more tragic. I was sad for him. Dammit, I know it's Andy Serkis with Peter Jackson pulling his CGI strings, but they made me love that damn thing!

Empire State was perfect. His last stand was a thing of beauty, and one of my favorite shots (which just goes to show how friggin good Peter Jackson is) one of my fav shots EVER was when he fell off the building, tumbling and twisting, and those bi-planes zoom past the bottom of the frame. God dammit, Peter. You are good. You are insanely good.

Did I cry? Well, no, but I could feel it coming. Last time I cried at a flick was Saving Private Ryan. And that was actual sobbing, man. But I say this because I cried when it was the '70s version (Up yours, man, I was like 8 at the time!!!!!!).

You see, Jackson made this movie because you can see that he loved it. LOVED it. Which is why George Lucas really pissed me off. You can read back to one of my 1st posts to get my Star Wars/Sith rant, but I'll sum it up here: Lucas wasted the prequels on bullshit. Did they have great MOMENTS? Sure. But overall they are mostly unwatchable to me. And I'm a massive Star Wars nut.

But the detail and love and heart that went into King Kong shows on every frame. Every damn frame. This movie deserves to be kicking ass, I wish it was kicking more ass at the box office (Narnia is beating it this weekend) but maybe it'll have "legs" and make enough for people to call it a hit. I wonder what Spielberg (who still makes rocking great movies, by the way, can't wait to see Munich) and Lucas thought when they saw it.

King Kong deserves to be seen. Even if you might not LOVE it, it's not something to "wait for the DVD for." It needs to be seen in a theater. It just simply needs to be seen.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Contest Notifcation - Expose It!

As I listed earlier, I sent The Scenic Route & The Rave At Danny Carter's House to the above-mentioned comedy competition. And they actually announced the finalists at the exact time they promised, which is nice.

So, The Scenic Route placed..........Nowhere. Dammit. however, Rave At Danny Carter's was.........an Honorable Mention.

Not a terrible outcome, it's better that nothing, but certainly producers and such aren't going to be knocking on my door because I was an honorable mention.

Last year I was a quarter-finalist for my script, Doing It Sideways, which is about a struggling actor who turns to porn to make ends meet, and becomes a huge sensation in the adult film world. there were no honorable mentions last year (I'm sure they got more entries this year).

I'll keep updating any notifications from these contests here. Not a homerun, or even a double for Rave so far. More like an infield hit. Or a sacrifice fly. Maybe a hit-by-a-pitch. I've got it out to several other places so we'll see if it gets any further.

Merry X-Mas.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Is It Safe?

Freakin' Olivier, man. Like I wasn't already petrified of dentists.

Anyway, I had some nasty writer's blockage for the last 2 weeks. I've worked on a shitload of scripts over the last year, and I think my mind just went blank.

It seems to be going away though, and I've gotten back to work! Funniest thing, I was watching an episode of Tom & Jerry with my son and a great idea for a new script popped in my head, I was flooded with the story, entire scenes, dialogue, etc. It continued the following day as I drove to work, writing down dialogue and scenes as I drove with my knee.

Scripts I've completed this year were The Rave At Danny Carter's House, The Scenic Route, Shuttlecock!, Headshot, and Tourniquet. Plus, I did some nice re-writes on some older stuff including The Money Shot, The Flight Of Barnaby, Jablasco, and Doing It Sideways - The Joshua T. Bolt Story.

So, what's next? Well, I've got some more re-writing to do. I took Scott the Reader up on his offer of script critiquing and he's given me some great insight into the scripts I sent him. As for originals, I'm already into Retail Messiahs and will dive into the Tom & Jerry inspired The Nine Lives Of Dalt Stickle soon.

Let me give a shout-out (Someone slap me for saying "shout-out") to FunJoel who taught me how to link within my post. also, I was gonna say something regarding Christmas but write it as XXX-Mas but that bastard Scriptweaver beat me to it. I'd be all mad if he didn't have that lovely Keira staring back at me on his latest post.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Link'd!

Okay, so I got the link ordeal figured out, thanks to those who walked me through it. Ok, carried me.

I'll update and add links as often as I can.

Got an e-mail from inktip.com saying that a company has looked at one of my synopsis' I have listed there. YEAH! They looked at a synopsis! Wahoo! Booya! I'm gonna quit my day job.

Now if only they'd ask for the damn script we'd be getting somewhere.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Link'd?

Hello my peeps. Just a note to let you know that I'd like to have a bunch of yous as links on my blog here, but I can't figure out how to do it.

FunJoel was kind enough to explain it. And I still don't have a clue. I just can't figure it, or else I'd have most of you on here as links. As you can realize, I'm not the most computer savvy dude.

Help.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Helluva a thing, killin' a man......

.......take away all he's got. All he's ever gonna have." Damn that's a good one.

Update for those (me) who care. Got some stuff out to some contests/competitions, and am eagerly awating my rejections. Oh, I'm joshing.

Actually, this year could be interesting. I feel very strongly for 2 scripts in particular that I've been sending out (Rave at Danny's....which I have posted 2 excerpts below) and another comedy called The Scenic Route. Here's what I'm waiting on.. I'll name the contest, then the scripts I entered.........

Zoetrope - Cricket Hill (Finalist top 3 at Austin in 2003) and The Flight Of Barnaby (notification in Feb 2006)
Nashville Screenplay Showdown - The Flight Of Barnaby
Fade In - Jablasco, The Money Shot, The Rave At Danny Carter's House (notification 1/31/06)
AAA Competition - Rave At Danny Carter‘s, The Scenic Route (notifcation 1/1/06 (Quarter-finalists))
Script/Benderspink - Rave at Danny's, The Scenic Route, The Money Shot
All Access - The Scenic Route (notification on 1/16/05)
Set In Philly - The Flight Of Barnaby
Expose It!-Comedy Screenplay Competition - The Scenic Route, Rave at Danny’s (I was a quarter-finalist here last year with a script called Doing It Sideways - The Joshua T. Bolt Story)
Screenplay Shootout - Rave at Danny’s (notifcation on 2/25/05)

Thinking about American Accolades, but I hate sending 2 copies, which is what they want. Like to send to Find the Funny.

Yeah, it's a lot of contests, a lot of friggin cashola out of my asshola, but I'm not gonna get anywhere just staring at 'em! the search for a better agent continues!

I'll certainly let y'all know as the results come in. January& February should be interesting! Peace, mofos!

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Rave At Danny, Part 2

The following "Rave" excerpt happens earlier in the script than the last post. Our guys (high school geeks/outcasts Danny, Lem, Walsh and Cisco) need fake IDs to check out a rave in the city and head to a seedy dude named French (think Tim Olyphant), a local hooligan.....

INT. FRENCH’S HOUSE/LIVING ROOM - DAY
Danny, Lem, Cisco and Walsh sit on a black, leather couch. The room is full of psychedelic decor. CLASSIC ROCK plays from a record, spinning on a record player.

LEM
Well, I’m ready.
DANNY
(over the music)
What?

LEM
I’m ready! I wanna--

French enters and knocks the needle off the record. The song ends in a SCRATCH.

LEM
--go home.

French points to the door.

FRENCH
There’s the door, dude.
CISCO
He’s fine, French.
FRENCH
Doubt it.

French drags a chair in front of them and sits on it.

FRENCH
Any of you ever been to a rave?
DANNY
No. But we have contacts who have.
FRENCH
You’ll get eaten alive.
CISCO
We can handle ourselves.
FRENCH
Any of you guys even drink?
DANNY
Of course.
LEM
Yeah, like fish.
FRENCH
Fish drink water. You drink beer?
LEM
I almost did once.
FRENCH
And what happened?
LEM
I puked.
FRENCH
So be it.
(to Danny)
You drink?
DANNY
Thought about it.
FRENCH
Did you puke when you thought about it?
DANNY
No, but I got buzzed.
French laughs and runs his hands through his hair.
FRENCH
Okay. How much you got?
LEM
Is this where we negotiate a price?
FRENCH
It’s where you tell me how much you got.
DANNY
Forty bucks.

French laughs.

FRENCH
For four IDs?
DANNY
It’s all we have.
FRENCH
None of you rich?
CISCO
My Dad just borrowed ten bucks from me for gas so he could go to work today.
FRENCH
So much for pride.
(looks at Walsh)
Who are you again?
WALSH
Walsh.
FRENCH
Tommy Walsh?
WALSH
Yeah.
FRENCH
Ain’t you got a sister?
WALSH
Liz.
FRENCH
Yeah, yeah. I know Liz. She’s a hottie.
WALSH
Not to me.
FRENCH
Well, of course not. This ain’t West Virginia.

French gives them a once over.

FRENCH
Okay, boys. You ready to rave?

Thursday, December 15, 2005

The Rave At Danny Carter's House

Okay, just so you all don't think I only write about missing cackers, the following is an excerpt from another script that I have recently sent out to some contests/competitions/festivals/likely-wastes-of-time.

It's called THE RAVE AT DANNY CARTER'S HOUSE. And it's pretty much about that, it builds up to the rave at Danny's. In the following scene, Danny and his friends (each a nerd/geek type) are discussing the quickly-approaching rave..........


INT. DANNY’S HOUSE/BASEMENT
Danny, Cisco, Walsh and Lem, are all pacing randomly.

CISCO
Party favors?
DANNY
Check.
LEM
Parental figures?
DANNY
Gone.
WALSH
Neon paraphernalia?
CISCO
We got bracelets, necklaces, belts, glow sticks. Plenty of neon.
LEM
What about booze? The kids love booze.
CISCO
It’s BYOB.
LEM
(tries to pronounce it)
Byob?
CISCO
Bring your own booze. Gets us out of buying it.
WALSH
Breakables?
DANNY
I put as much away as I could. According to most party movies, something will break, and break often.
LEM
What if beer is spilled?
DANNY
I put plastic down on the carpets and couches.
LEM
Disco balls?
DANNY
Obviously.
WALSH
Okay, guys, and the most important ingredient in our rave concoction?
CISCO
Girls?
WALSH
Girls.

They look to Danny, and stop pacing. Danny smiles.

DANNY
Oh yes, there will be girls.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Tourniquet Excerpt - Part II

Okay, here's the rest of the already posted scene. To read in order, start with my previous post.
Again, this is a dark comedy about a pretty wacked, quirky couple. The set-up: Ray meets Maggie (she's hot, young, jealous) and they fall in love. Ray's ex comes back to town, Ray has 2nd thoughts and after a tiff with Maggie, ends up with Paula. Maggie catches them, kicks Paula out, and pretends to forgive him and cuffs him to the bed for make-up sex. That's when she slices.
There are other sub-plots involving Ray's friends, but Ray and Maggie are the center of the story......
RAY
(whimpering)
Gotta stop....bleeding...Need to wrap it.
MAGGIE
With what?
RAY
Need....a....tourniquet.

He’s passing out. She slaps him.

MAGGIE
Wake up! I don’t know what that is!
RAY
(starts to come around)
To stop bleeding.
Maggie reaches under her skirt and yanks off her thong. She tries to wrap it around his bloody crotch.
MAGGIE
I can’t tie it!
RAY
Keep trying.
MAGGIE
I am! This is my favorite thong, you know! I hope you appreciate this!
RAY
I do.....

She grabs a phone and hits 9-1-1.

MAGGIE
(after a moment)
We’ve had an accident! My boyfriend is bleeding really bad!
(listens)
It’s his dick!

She drops the phone as another burst of blood shoots across the floor. A stream nails her in her face.

MAGGIE
Ah! Shit!
RAY
You......gotta....hold it.
(smiles weakly)
You’re my tourniquet.....

Monday, December 12, 2005

Script Excerpt - Tourniquet

The following is an excerpt from one of my scripts (it's a comedy). In this scene, Maggie has cut off her boyfriend's penis as he is handcuffed to their bed (okay, it's a dark comedy). This was done in an act of jealous rage. The rest of the script involves the search for the missing penis by the small town of Blatch. The script is called TOURNIQUET.
Maggie holds up his severed penis.

MAGGIE
What, you want this?

RAY
YES! YES! PUT IT BACK! PUT IT BACK!

MAGGIE
Flush it?

RAY
NO! NO! NO!

MAGGIE
Okay, if you say so, baby.

Maggie enters the bathroom. Ray can see her from the bed and continues to howl in ungodly pain. She stands above the toilet, holding the bloody member in her hand.

RAY
(whimpering)
Please. Put it back. I need it. Maggie...
She drops it in the toilet.

MAGGIE
Plop. Just like a dead goldfish, Ray.
She flushes, and walks away from the toilet, standing at the doorway to the bedroom. Ray lies helpless, blood staining the sheets around his crotch, eyes filled with tears.

RAY
Baby......Why.....?

Maggie is hit with empathy.
MAGGIE
Oh, baby. What’d I do?
Behind her the toilet starts overflowing. She turns to look.
MAGGIE
Oh, shit.
(to Ray)
It’s overflowing!
RAY
(weakly)
Good, good. Maybe it’s stuck! Go get it!
She runs to the toilet.

RAY
....Plunger.

She grabs a plunger and starts plunging. Pinkish water overflows all over the floor.

MAGGIE
This is gross!

She looks back into the other room.
RAY
Oh, my God it hurts.
MAGGIE
I’m trying, baby.
She turns back to the toilet and tosses the plunger aside.
RAY
I wish I was dead.
MAGGIE
I’ll jiggle the handle!
FLUSH. The water disappears down the drain.
MAGGIE
Oh.
She steps back from the toilet, then turns and steps into the bedroom. Ray looks at her with hope. She shakes her head.

MAGGIE
It’s gone, baby.
I'll post more tomorrow. Thoughts?

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Jablasco

Wrote a script called JABLASCO a few months back. Listed it on Inktip.com, and just this week had a request for it. Inktip is a cool place to list your scripts, as most of y'all know. I've had some success from the site. That's where the infamous "We-Love-Everything-About-Your-Script-But-Want-You-To-Change-Everything-We-Love-About-Your-Script" guys found me.

So anyhoo, we'll see if this new company wants to do something with it. I used to get excited over these requests, now I'm just like, Yeah, whatever, take it. Just a jaded New Jersian I guess.

Side Note - Congrats to Disney on Narnia. 65-70million according to boxofficeguru.com. Nice opening! That Disney company just might be going somewhere.

Now I'm off to re-write my screenplay about a guy that gets his wee-wee sliced off and flushed down a toilet. Think Disney would want that one?

Monday, December 05, 2005

HEADSHOT Wins!!!

Well, some minor good news. My screenplay, HEADSHOT, a horror comedy about a psychotic extra, was a winner in the Writer's Room Horror/Sci-Fi Screenplay competition......Oh, you've never heard of the Writer's Room.

Anyway, I won............a book! Going in I new the prizes were meager, but it's a semi-local contest so I sent in HEADSHOT. The book is A Prayer For the Dying by Stewart O'Nan (signed).

So I'm happyish about it. Certainly rather win Scriptapalooza or something, but it's a notch for the belt.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

LET THEM EAT STATIC

Well, I bombed out. Maybe not bombed. But I'm out of the 2 screenplay competitions I was waiting on. I made the quarter-finals of The Writer's Network Competition (Shuttlecock! & Brightsword) and the Semi-finals of The Screenplay Competition (The Money Shot) but no further in either.

Honestly I was surprised to get as far as I did with The Writer's Network, after I sent those scripts in I was kicking myself, I know I had better ones that I could have sent in.

I don't like to take the festival/contest route but if you've read my earlier posts regarding my "manager/agent" you see I have no choice. So I'll keep on sending stuff: I've got a newer, better arsenal of scripts than I've had in previous years. I've got 2 in particular, THE RAVE AT DANNY CARTER'S HOUSE and THE SCENIC ROUTE that I've already sent out to places like AAA Competition, the Script/Benderspink Open Door and Fade In. Now I just have to play the waiting game - none of these contests will have notifications under Jan/Feb.

So until then I'll keep on keeping on. Guess I can't quit the day job quite yet.

Dammit!

New Yawk

Damn that's a busy city. Lotta people up there, if you were wondering. Okay, sure, it's the Christmas season, in one of the world's largest cities, on a Saturday, so of course it was busy. No, no, it was mobbed.

We took a limo up from down here in NJ, my family, the in-laws (we totaled 13 in all, all in the limo). So we ate at that Mars 2112 joint which was ok, kinda neat; food was decent, the odd waiters were not.

Then we headed over to check out Rockerfeller Center & the big-ass tree, and it was pretty but with the other 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 people around and walking/shoving/trampling through us, it wasn't as fun as it could have been. The kids were cold & pissed. Can't blame them.

We stayed to see a light show at my sister-in-law's urging that ended up being some flashing snowflakes set to X-mas music, then we got trampled/shoved/kicked/pissed on, retreated back to the limo and got the hell back to NJ.

The idea of going up in a limo, having a dinner, seeing some X-Mas crap was cool in theory but the reality? Not so cool.